[Eren's words cut right through that amused air between them, and Shinjiro just... pauses at them. His amused smirk fades, brows furrowing together in brief thought. It had never been said so outright to him, the fact that he'd never let himself acknowledge because it paved the way for second-guessing and who knows what else, everything that would tear him away from blindly doing what he felt he had to do.
But Eren's... right. He doesn't want to die. Feels he has to, sure. Needs to, almost. But that doesn't mean that the thought of wishing it wasn't that way wasn't so tantalizingly hopeful, something that he'd always forced himself to completely shut down lest it turn his stubborn determination into despair.
His fingers tap slightly on the stone, just something to occupy them, before he sighs out a short exhale, head tipping down.]
You're probably right.
[A beat, and when he attempts for a casual sort of smirk it looks more like a grimace.] But until this place, that wasn't possible. Start wishing for impossible shit and it just tears you up, keeps you from doing what you gotta.
[He'd always told himself he was doing what he had to, that he was doing what he felt was right. Had it all worked out in his head. And inviting other options in would only introduce hesitancy and hurting others.]
But yeah, you ain't wrong. People here got all sorts of stuff to either go back to or run from.
[ it takes a long time— a very long time between the pause and eren continuing on in his thoughts for him to realize something. perhaps his floaty state didn’t help him discern what had been too honestly said or not, or if his smiling and following reflections was badly timed with the words he decided to spew. then again, eren was already really honest with people. frank enough to be considered rude.
it didn’t bother him. by the time he turns his attention back to shinjiro, the dragon captures the detail of strain on the other man’s features, a frown deeper than before. it earns a blink, but no apology. who knows, maybe he needed to hear it from someone. he’s, if anything, glad it made him think. life was not meant to throw away. not when you were born in the first place to live it. ]
Yeah. [ that was true, all of it, although eren wasn’t above hurting others to achieve what he thought was right. as much as it hurt him. ] We do what we have to do.
[ eren was, above all, a social yet nomadic dragon. sticking in one place made his legs squirm, and eventually, he’s itching back to return to some bustling, and to check how much their surroundings have changed. a little more serious, but not without some perceptiveness, he reaches out and jostles the other’s shoulder. it was supposed to be a clap, but, a little more affectionate. if roughing around was considered affectionate. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
But Eren's... right. He doesn't want to die. Feels he has to, sure. Needs to, almost. But that doesn't mean that the thought of wishing it wasn't that way wasn't so tantalizingly hopeful, something that he'd always forced himself to completely shut down lest it turn his stubborn determination into despair.
His fingers tap slightly on the stone, just something to occupy them, before he sighs out a short exhale, head tipping down.]
You're probably right.
[A beat, and when he attempts for a casual sort of smirk it looks more like a grimace.] But until this place, that wasn't possible. Start wishing for impossible shit and it just tears you up, keeps you from doing what you gotta.
[He'd always told himself he was doing what he had to, that he was doing what he felt was right. Had it all worked out in his head. And inviting other options in would only introduce hesitancy and hurting others.]
But yeah, you ain't wrong. People here got all sorts of stuff to either go back to or run from.
no subject
it didn’t bother him. by the time he turns his attention back to shinjiro, the dragon captures the detail of strain on the other man’s features, a frown deeper than before. it earns a blink, but no apology. who knows, maybe he needed to hear it from someone. he’s, if anything, glad it made him think. life was not meant to throw away. not when you were born in the first place to live it. ]
Yeah. [ that was true, all of it, although eren wasn’t above hurting others to achieve what he thought was right. as much as it hurt him. ] We do what we have to do.
[ eren was, above all, a social yet nomadic dragon. sticking in one place made his legs squirm, and eventually, he’s itching back to return to some bustling, and to check how much their surroundings have changed. a little more serious, but not without some perceptiveness, he reaches out and jostles the other’s shoulder. it was supposed to be a clap, but, a little more affectionate. if roughing around was considered affectionate. ]
I’m gonna take a walk— wanna come?