[ Matt can feel himself teetering on the edge of panic and tears. His emotions are too strong, the voices seem to cut through him with every word despite not knowing exactly what they mean by their accusations. The darker, crueler voice, the one actually in his head suggests that this is just like his real limitations. Eren is talking! he reminds himself. "We need to drown them out." They're in a car aren't they? ]
[ already a few steps ahead— shuffle, it’s all up to you, now. eren switches the car on and spins the volume knob to a pretty good level. his playlist consists mostly of hard metal, rock and such noisy aggression, but today, shuffle seems to fall right onto something instrumental.
you thought eren jaeger only listened to ear splitting screaming, but he has his share orchestrated tunes— certain violin ones. at least titan’s doing alright in the back. he goes for matt’s hand, and puts in it a little remote control. the buttons are simple and there’s even braille on it for volume next song, and so on. arm on his shoulder, he repeats again. ]
[ Matt's gaze drifts upwards and he turns his ear towards the nearest car speaker. Something is on his mind, a good sign considering; he might actually be able to think full thoughts while he concentrates on the music. It's good but... a painful melody. He hits skip then skip again. Some pieces start off softly, not loud enough fast enough, the livelier the track the more he listens to it.
The whispers try to interrupt, slipping into the back seat and around so they start in one ear and end in another. Even Eren gets treated to words in his ear about being weak and failing. Matt swallows and bites his lip trying to hold back tears, like a small child surrounded by bullies. He hits the button again, each time regaining enough hope that the next piece will do the trick to keep from breaking down. ]
[ there are quite a few more agitated tracks, from fire from the gods to good old ac/dc. ac/dc did the best job, perhaps. even as he begins to drive and pull out of the lot, it hits him, trying to bite at his thoughts. weakness. failure. it makes him think back on his father, for some reason, wanting him to go to doctor route instead of military.
you'll fail, he said. you've already failed. those aren't words of encouragement you'd like to hear from your old man, and eren nearly gives into that blow, like it had dug right into his gut. it didn't bother him so much before, why did it feel like he was hearing it for the first time? what was it that he said, then?
[ "Back in Black" starts blaring through the car speakers and Matt's grip on the remote goes stiff. Wait. This one he knows, he has this record at home.
Normally Matt is reserved when it comes to song and dance unless he has a good number of drinks in him or is truly comfortable for risk of getting judged, which generally means all by himself. Desperate times call for desperate measures though and there's no better way to drown out unkind whispers than to get lost in loud invigorating music.
He starts tapping his foot, then both feet to the unmistakable beat of the song. The whispers slip further back in his mind. They try again, right in his ear like someone is breathing right against the side of his head. Matt starts rocking his head and shoulders to the music. Not a full on head bang but an unmistakable dance. ]
[ when eren’s in a more agitated mood, looking to disperse or if he’s feeling generally good about anything, his steering wheel makes for the perfect drum snare to any of his playlists. he can feel the whispers losing power, kneading in and out of the harsher lyrics. looks like they had the right idea. a glance to the passenger seat, and eren can’t help a small smile.
there’s fairly hard tapping against the wheel that accompanies matt about halfway into the first chorus, along with eren’s incoherent grumbling of words— he’s by far a good singer, but it’s hard not to give the weapon they had a little extra juice. even the car’s engine seems more agressive as eren accelerates and stops, turns and drives. rock it out matt, you’re not alone. ]
[ The whispers try to follow after them but Matt runs his fingers over the remote and finds the volume control. Normally he'd be rolling his eyes if someone blasted their music this loud in their car but it is an emergency and feeling the music lift their spirits is priority number one. As Eren drives them through the fog the whispers fade away and the destruction noise Matt was hearing starts to disappear as well as the fog begins rolling back ahead of them, defeated. ]
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no subject
Radio!
no subject
you thought eren jaeger only listened to ear splitting screaming, but he has his share orchestrated tunes— certain violin ones. at least titan’s doing alright in the back. he goes for matt’s hand, and puts in it a little remote control. the buttons are simple and there’s even braille on it for volume next song, and so on. arm on his shoulder, he repeats again. ]
Hang in there.
no subject
The whispers try to interrupt, slipping into the back seat and around so they start in one ear and end in another. Even Eren gets treated to words in his ear about being weak and failing. Matt swallows and bites his lip trying to hold back tears, like a small child surrounded by bullies. He hits the button again, each time regaining enough hope that the next piece will do the trick to keep from breaking down. ]
no subject
you'll fail, he said. you've already failed. those aren't words of encouragement you'd like to hear from your old man, and eren nearly gives into that blow, like it had dug right into his gut. it didn't bother him so much before, why did it feel like he was hearing it for the first time? what was it that he said, then?
you're wrong. and he was. just remember that. ]
no subject
Normally Matt is reserved when it comes to song and dance unless he has a good number of drinks in him or is truly comfortable for risk of getting judged, which generally means all by himself. Desperate times call for desperate measures though and there's no better way to drown out unkind whispers than to get lost in loud invigorating music.
He starts tapping his foot, then both feet to the unmistakable beat of the song. The whispers slip further back in his mind. They try again, right in his ear like someone is breathing right against the side of his head. Matt starts rocking his head and shoulders to the music. Not a full on head bang but an unmistakable dance. ]
no subject
there’s fairly hard tapping against the wheel that accompanies matt about halfway into the first chorus, along with eren’s incoherent grumbling of words— he’s by far a good singer, but it’s hard not to give the weapon they had a little extra juice. even the car’s engine seems more agressive as eren accelerates and stops, turns and drives. rock it out matt, you’re not alone. ]
no subject
As Eren drives them through the fog the whispers fade away and the destruction noise Matt was hearing starts to disappear as well as the fog begins rolling back ahead of them, defeated. ]