[ eren has massive flaws he can never fix even when he’s aware of them
but opening his mouth to talk back brings out nothing. his voice doesn’t come. he has nothing to say, he has nothing to change things around and make at least a little bit of this bearable. these things just aren’t meant to be be enjured easily.
so eren falls back, silent and verbally subdued, his head hanging and his shoulders still occasionally jumping from hiccups. after that stretch, and only moments of his simply holding elliot’s hand, he asks genuinely, with his head searching for his shoulder to rest on and elliot’s scent to breathe: ]
What do I tell Mom?
[ it was a serious question— does he wait? does he say something now? what if retrospec brings her back? what if they don’t? ]
It was Elliot's turn to be quiet, because that thought hadn't occurred to him. And now that it has, it makes him feel incredibly guilty for not thinking of it. He didn't have parents anymore, so it was easy to forget other people had someone to check in with. People loved them yet weren't on the app so they couldn't understand everything.
What do you even say...]
I...I don't know. [He'll admit to it. no point in pretending otherwise] What...do you think she'd want you to say?
I’m afraid to say something, or wait, [ another tight swallow, so much that his throat smacks. ] and be wrong.
[ it was probably one of the worst things to be caught between. ]
Mom’d always want the truth.
[ but maybe . . . it should be something he could think more about. maybe after— ]
I need to— [ his eyes water when eren glances down at his clothes, but weep he doesn’t. he only blinks rapidly to keep them at bay, and wants to get up. ] I need to help clean this up.
[ eren nods, mostly in apology to what elliot meant— it’s easy to mix things up when you’re head is running laps upon laps. having a hand against a splintered bench, he’s sure to dig deep into the wood in one swoop, else he’d think twice to hurt himself. a little of his own blood was all he needed anyway. ]
. . . I don’t know what she’d want.
[ which was highly troubling. after this? it was hard to pinpoint what clover was feeling, why she broke, why she did this. with the mind sent she had been in now, it was almost possible to think that she’d want out of everything asap. she was gone, end of story.
but eren knows that love was all she really wanted, even if it hadn’t been enough. ]
[ eren was usually so bright, full of energy, full of life in his eyes enough to make it contagious— but now he just seems drained from it all, like it had been stolen from him and hadn’t the strength to get it back. feeling hopeless, for someone always full of hope, was a terrible ordeal.
even if he could think about it later, clover was the only one that clung to his thoughts. clover, and how his family fell apart again.
squeezing elliot’s hand, he nods for them to continue. they had to clean this up as much as they could without most of the city freaking out. not that they already weren’t.
eren shifts, the only sound made that same loud boom and static, then begins by cupping the split benches and footing the debris of a crater into a single pile. the titan only breathes. he makes no sound. ]
[It says a lot about Elliot's life that he isn't startled by Eren suddenly shifting. He just tries to step back to make sure he's out of Eren's way and he doesn't get stepped on. But even then, he's more worried about Eren's state than actual fear of any titan.
So he keeps an eye on him, bending down to pick up any little pieces that a human his size could haul over to the pile. Not...as effective as a big titan, but hey give him a break]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
but opening his mouth to talk back brings out nothing. his voice doesn’t come. he has nothing to say, he has nothing to change things around and make at least a little bit of this bearable. these things just aren’t meant to be be enjured easily.
so eren falls back, silent and verbally subdued, his head hanging and his shoulders still occasionally jumping from hiccups. after that stretch, and only moments of his simply holding elliot’s hand, he asks genuinely, with his head searching for his shoulder to rest on and elliot’s scent to breathe: ]
What do I tell Mom?
[ it was a serious question— does he wait? does he say something now? what if retrospec brings her back? what if they don’t? ]
no subject
It was Elliot's turn to be quiet, because that thought hadn't occurred to him. And now that it has, it makes him feel incredibly guilty for not thinking of it. He didn't have parents anymore, so it was easy to forget other people had someone to check in with. People loved them yet weren't on the app so they couldn't understand everything.
What do you even say...]
I...I don't know. [He'll admit to it. no point in pretending otherwise] What...do you think she'd want you to say?
no subject
[ it was probably one of the worst things to be caught between. ]
Mom’d always want the truth.
[ but maybe . . . it should be something he could think more about. maybe after— ]
I need to— [ his eyes water when eren glances down at his clothes, but weep he doesn’t. he only blinks rapidly to keep them at bay, and wants to get up. ] I need to help clean this up.
no subject
[What Clover would want. Respect the wishes of the dead and all that.
He stands up when Eren gives the signs he wants to do so, sticking close to him. Keeping an eye on him.]
Let me help you.
no subject
. . . I don’t know what she’d want.
[ which was highly troubling. after this? it was hard to pinpoint what clover was feeling, why she broke, why she did this. with the mind sent she had been in now, it was almost possible to think that she’d want out of everything asap. she was gone, end of story.
but eren knows that love was all she really wanted, even if it hadn’t been enough. ]
no subject
I-It doesn't have to be decided right away. You can think on it.
no subject
even if he could think about it later, clover was the only one that clung to his thoughts. clover, and how his family fell apart again.
squeezing elliot’s hand, he nods for them to continue. they had to clean this up as much as they could without most of the city freaking out. not that they already weren’t.
eren shifts, the only sound made that same loud boom and static, then begins by cupping the split benches and footing the debris of a crater into a single pile. the titan only breathes. he makes no sound. ]
no subject
So he keeps an eye on him, bending down to pick up any little pieces that a human his size could haul over to the pile. Not...as effective as a big titan, but hey give him a break]