usurpers | ic contact 💥 recollé (v2)

[ five bucks

don’t joke him on this day ]

My place or yours?

[DOES HE LOOK LIKE A MAN WHO HAS MONEY]

You know I don't think I've ever actually been to your place when it wasn't a zombie apocalypse

That was my Mom’s place.

Stop & Shop or bust, first.

Oh man, that means I've never seen Casa de Eren Should I meet you at the store? It'll take about 15 min to walk

Go for it. And don’t bring five bucks.

[Annnnd setting out!]

That's all I have Eren my bank account's still recovering from February[It takes a few moments for Crow to get it, ok.]

Shut up and take my money.

[ go to the supermarket and eren’s car is— there. it’s easy to see eren’s car. but eren himself!! he’s looking at some fruit and making faces.

he’s pretentious and buys his shit at whole foods so what kind of grapes are these they are of hideous quality ]

[Oh, well. That certainly works for him. NOT GOING TO QUESTION THE RICH BOY.

It doesn't take Crow too long to get to the store, noticing Eren's expensive ass car and its butterfly doors from the moment he crosses the parking lot and works his way into the actual market itself.

And that's where he finds Eren. Staring down fruit like it just insulted his family.]

...

You gonna be alright there, buddy?

[ these fruits are an insult to produce everywhere. hello, crow. eren turns around to show him the disgraceful bananas he found. ]

How long have these even been here?

[ there are too many black spots for you to eat them all in like

a day ]

[Oh my god, Eren. You're going to be THAT person, aren't you.]

Uuhhhh...couple days? Maybe?

They don't look all that bad. Still edible, at least.

[Wrong answer, Crow.]

[ he’s going to be that person (staring crow down like an equal disgrace to his family), and putting the bananas into his carriage. ]

I’m sticking them down your throat when they turn black tomorrow.

[ now let’s go get those oreos!!!! except help him he doesn’t know which isle it is. he’s standing there staring up at the signs. ]

[Bold talk for someone who gets lost in a grocery store!]

Mmm. Potassium.

[He says it playfully sarcastic, at least, walking up and grabbing the cart to wheel Eren in the direction.]

This way. We gotta go past dairy and into the snack aisle.

...

Wait, have you never been in this store?

[ this is the sound of a man who’s following and has answered a question by his own silence

so, dairy ]

[Eren's silence says it all, and Crow's eyes widen just a little.]

Gotcha, another chain then.

[Simple as that.]

I wonder if I should pick up some coffee while I'm here...

Edited 2019-03-16 00:37 (UTC)

[ — he sees the oreo packaging a mile a way at the end of the aisle and beelines. ]

You still drink that?

[Whoa there pardner, wait for him!]

...Yeah.

I'm a college student, after all.

[ eren grunts with the understanding of a spongegar reborn. which is to say he doesn’t understand your logic.

behold, though: oreos from top to bottom. all the flavors. all of them.

he starts off with grabbing five stacks of “firework” oreos. they have pop rocks in them. god damn pop rocks. he must have them. ]

You’re setting yourself up for dependency.

[It's a wonder you're not in debate team, Eren.

Crow would comment on your good taste, but he's going to be grabbing a few of Rocky Road ones.]

It's okay Eren, coffee will never be unfaithful to me. We're in an open relationship.

[

have you ever seen a man wrinkle his nose so much that you might be afraid that it sticks that way. lemon pie oreos, getting put in the carriage. ]

Tell that to your BP.

My BP is just fine. I still work out.

[10 seconds before disaster.

Don't forget the Peanut butter ones!]

[

]

You what?

[Oh no.]

Nothing.

I said nothing.

You said you worked out.

[ eren says this

while simultaneously lifting crow’s shirt to actually check. a curious ugh.

Edited 2019-03-30 23:30 (UTC)

[NOT IN THE GROCERY STORE, EREN!

From what quick glimpse he can get, there are in fact, abs and some sizable man tiddy, though Crow's quick to tug that shirt back down. THE FUN THING ABOUT BAGGIER CLOTHES IS IT HIDES YOUR MUSCLE

But don't make him take you home, mister!]

Yeah, usually after my night classes...

[ he wants proof

and his reaction is just sort of flippant except it’s not dick they’re comparing, crow armband. ]

How come I never see you there?

[ EXPLAIN YOURSELF ]

(no subject)

jurai - 2019-03-31 01:46 (UTC) - Expand