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[usurpers]

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[usurpers]

[ he’s just attempting what he always does, with “responsible” playfulness. he’s ready to leave the car and, whoops, not whoops, he snags elliot’s bag from the passenger seat to carry himself while elliot gets out of his own side. there’s an elevator right over there. ]

Then let’s get it started. [ he meets elliot half way to hook his arm around his shoulder. ] And you still need to tell me what you said before.

[ what was “pelican” . . . ]

[fiddlestick]

[What a gentlemen. When Eren does that, he'll step a little closer, wrapping his own arm around the small of Eren's back]

Haha, oh right.

I said "Eren Jaeger is the pinnacle of boyfriends. My heart crescendos just thinking about him".

[usurpers]

[ oh my god. elliot, the elevator they just walked into is going to turn into some kind of spontaneous sauna because did you just cute that hard to make him blush. ]

Crescendo? [ he emphasizes with warm amusement, because elliot certainly did music pun and called him a high point. he can’t even say anything without his cheeks stinging a little, his arm beginning to squeeze him into a lock for kisses. ] I should’ve known you’d do this to me.

[ look at the mess he’s in

the true monster is you ]

[fiddlestick]

[Elliot giggles as he gets pulled into a lock, beaming up at Eren. Heck yeah he called you a high point in music puns. ]

Hehe, yep! Of course I could never resist a music pun.

[He'll accept his monstrous nature]

Want me to come up with more?

[usurpers]

[ they have a few moments from here to the floor and delivery time, so . . . ]

Think I can keep up with you?

[fiddlestick]

[!!!]

Are you challenging me to a pun-off?

[EREN WHAT ARE YOU DOING]

[usurpers]

[ SOMETHING HE’LL REGRET, and it took him literally minutes before he decided to voice the challenge to think of this one. he’s going to lose. ]

Look . . . I get if you think it’s too hard to Handel.

[ but he’s got spunk to try anyway. his boyfriend loves these. ]

[fiddlestick]

[Oh Eren. You at least will succeed at getting a smile on your boyfriend's face, as he's got one right now]

I don't think that. I just worry about you dealing with the re-percussions of losing so badly.

[usurpers]

[ oh christ he’s gonna die. ]

Then, I . . . Might . . . Cause some treble for you.

[fiddlestick]

Haha, don't be so brass, Eren. This is my forte.

[usurpers]

[ once the elevator rings, eren guides them out and juggles the keys, giving a quiet uhhh and ultimately using that to stall. eren, you cheater. ]

You don’t even . . . [ no, wait, that doesn't work. backpedal! ] Should’ve known I’d be up against a— maestro?

[ HE STILL IN ]

[fiddlestick]

[EREN YOU CHEATER. Elliot is giving him a Look. Dude. That shouldn't even count. He steps out of the elevator]

Hehe, what a sad note. I should've known you weren't on my scale. We can have the finale and end it now, unless you want to chime in another try?

[usurpers]

Christ—

[ elliot no, that’s like whipping out a bazooka against his desert eagle??? how is this even possible. eren just smiles, and smiles weakly the more he gets bombarded, and once the door’s open and they’re stepping inside (hello titan, hello), his mouth is doing that moving but nothing’s coming out. ]

I’m on a . . . Highway to hell.

[ HE’S CHUCKLING AND JUST HANGING HIS HEAD, HE’S OUT OF PUNS. HE’S ONLY GOT LYRICS 😭 ]

[fiddlestick]

[YOU BROUGHT A KNIFE TO A BAZOOKA FIGHT WHAT DID YOU EXPECT. Never mess with a musical genius that loves puns. Never.

he laughs]

Okay, now you're cheating. The Maestro line was bad enough, but song lyrics just fall flat.

Admit your decresendo into defeat, Jaeger.

[usurpers]

[ how could this happen to me, i’ve made my mistakes, got nowhere to run . . . ]

It wasn’t that bad— [ then after setting elliot’s bag on the couch and puffing his cheeks out with determined huffs of air . . . he finally holds his hands up. ] Okay. Okay, you win.

[ he’s vulnerable! ]

You can spare a guy that didn’t even know decresendos were a thing?

[fiddlestick]

[Aw yaaais, victory. Elliot does a little fist pump while grinning]

Heehee, decrescendos are when you go from loud to soft.

[though Eren's only volume is loud, so it's understandable he wouldn't know that. But while Eren's arms are up, he'll step in close to wrap his arms around his waist in an embrace. He rests his head on his shoulder as he looks up with him with a playful smile]

Sorry, can't spare you. Not when you're my prize.

[usurpers]

[ hey .......... . . . .

but forget about decrescendos, even if he gives an ahh of newfound understanding, only dropping his arms to elliot’s waist once he’s hooked his around them, taking enough steps back to lean against the couch’s arm rest. god that fist pump was cute. he looks so tormented for not being spared (no he loves it, look at his crooked smile, nose to nose) ]

I don’t think I want mercy, then. [ just no more pun bombarding ] What’s first?

[fiddlestick]

[ Yep, that is a look of a man being tormented. What a terrible fate. ]

Haha, that depends. When is the pizza getting here?

[usurpers]

[ he’s doomed, oh, the agony . . . ]

Few more minutes, maybe?

[ all eren needs to plot his victory, trying to pull elliot a little more into him and the lean back. it’s a trap. be smarter than his thighs. ]

[fiddlestick]

[Are you kidding, he may be a musical genius but he ain't a genius in other fields. He does not realize he's being tricked at all]

Few minutes? Hm, okay..let's see...

[He did not plan this out, so he has to think- leaving him wide open]

[usurpers]

[ and the fourth wall crowd goes wild as the jaws theme plays! elliot, no!! get out of the water!! it’s not safe!! eren just keeps eyes on him, innocently enough but smiling probably a little too sly the more he gets close to the nab— like a constricting snake going for the kill, he sits his weight back against the couch and picks his legs up, locking around elliot’s waist. aw, look, he’s being affectionate! eren’s thighs are good huggers.

until he pulls his arm up and hooks it around elliot’s head, falling backwards onto the couch with the most vanilla guillotine choke. there is no pulling or squeezing, safety first, but there is nuzzling and no way to get out of it. ]

Time’s up!

[fiddlestick]

[Elliot sees his doom the moment Eren picks his legs up and locks them around his waist. He knows this is not how you show affection, this is how--]

Oh no-

[But it's too late! Before he can react, there's an arm around his neck and he's falling down onto the couch. He lets out a squeak of surprise as he falls into the hold, which is thankfully not painful compared to how that one in the gif looks, holy crap]

H-Hey!

[usurpers]

[ this starts out fun— eren’s laughing and rocking his legs up, giving the smallest squeeze (this time, really of affection) as elliot’s trapped head is given ruffles with his own face. eren’s just a dang nuzzler, you’ve been bamboozled! no escape!

except there is a moment, a split second moment where eren stops; his muscles contract, he feels a rise of heat, and before his body can react further to what he sees— he nearly throws his arms and legs off of elliot. they cut loose and free him in a fairly startled way, if his expression and sudden cold sweat is anything to go by. he’s even panting a little.

that is not the kind of memory he wanted with his boyfriend in his arms. even if he didn’t do anything to hurt him— eren stil sits them both up to check him. ]

You’re okay?

[fiddlestick]

[One moment Elliot had been trying not to laugh about being getting nuzzled and held (can't give him the satisfaction), and then the next moment- well. He's suddenly cut loose, as if Eren had touched a hot stove. It leaves Elliot surprised, confused, and very concerned as he gets sat back up.]

I-I'm fine. What is it?

[usurpers]

[ his hand brushes some hair away from elliot’s face, extra gentle and a little shaken, but he forces an awkward sort of smile of reassurance. he doesn’t want to worry him too much, and with a sigh, he weighs his arms over elliot’s shoulders. ]

—Remembered something. [ at least he’s being honest, but. just!! brushing it off like nothing is the way to go?? honestly, he’s lucky he didn’t try and. snap his neck off for real. christ. ] Promise I won’t do it again, okay?

[ it’s a dangerous move, and one slip down the rabbit hole can have him relive it. dangerously. there’s a part of him that goes “aw!” because, these were fun, but. maybe not the guillotine. ]