He shows up with that video. Which was...pretty emotional for a vacation. When I talked to him, he said it was a vacation too. But there was some guy in the comments talking about going to his funeral.
But the minute Eren's eyes graze over the name, he freezes. Ryoji Mochizuki. For a few seconds, he sits back and thinks shit, because he had died. Why would anyone hide that from a roommate? Why would anyone hide that at all? He begins to think how should I tell him, before the rest of the messages are sent through and words leave the pit of his stomach feeling uncomfortably icy, braiding into his ribs and tightening the space he had to breathe.
He shows up.
Eren might take a while to respond— he doesn't spend much time on the retrospec network unless it's for information, he wasn't much of media socializer to start; he was busy with the last few weeks before he officially stepped up his rank from trainee to airman, so skimming through the app was all he really did.
He watches this video, and reads the comments. After a few minutes, he finally responds. ]
ryoji mochizuki did die, elliot. dante rantanen told me what happened.
[ Attached is a screenshot of some of that conversation. ]
[He'll read through the screenshot, noting the timestamps on it - over a week ago. Ryoji's been dead for well over a week. He doesn't once question the validity of it. Eren was always honest to him. But at the same time, he feels a twist in his stomach. Even if he had his suspicions, he didn't want to be right. He didn't want anyone to die. He wanted it to be some elaborate misunderstanding that he fell for. But so much for that. ] I don't know.
[There's so many questions. Why didn't anyone tell him? Why did Ryoji come back? How? Why did people outside this app seemed to believe it was a vacation? If they died, would everyone in town just say the same thing about them? Would they be brought back?
Elliot's glad he's alone in his room. He doesn't want anyone reading the thoughts that are appearing above his head.]
[ Luckily, or rather unluckily, that's not the first thing that pops into Eren's mind. There's a lot to think about, but he's not going to spend it rubbing his phone and staring at the ceiling, or leaving it at that. He can imagine what sort of things are going through Elliot's own head, and before he can have second thoughts, he's already letting his thumbs type and send. ]
He's known Eren long enough to know what THAT means. So after making an "oh no oh no" whine sound to himself (with gray squiggle lines to accompany of course) - he drops his phone on the bed and in a half-panic, jumps up and starts stashing all the stuff he does not want Eren to see. Mini-pride flag and LGBT pamphlets he picked up from the student center? Shoved into his desk. Childhood teddy bear? Stuffed under the bed. Laptop browser history? Oh you better believe it's deleted. He even considers hiding his family photos-- but yeah okay he doesn't risk damaging those and it'd be alright to acknowledge he has a family.
By the time Eren shows up, Elliot's going to be answering the door slightly out of breathe. Panic has a way of taking the wind out of you man]
[ Eren ran out of the Fort and down a handful of blocks to get to his car, and from there sped to Elliot's place. At the door and ready to press the ringer in series, he's met with his friend huffing unexpectedly— and that causes an appropriate reaction from an appropriate soldier.
He must be acting up because of the news, or something along those very lines. ]
Hey, hey, relax— calm down, I'm here. [ With both hands on Elliot's shoulders, he strengthens his grip down firmly, but not enough to be rugged. With the focused look in his (now grey) eyes, he doesn't have to say it to present a credible argument: he's here and he'll take care of it. ] Let's sit you down.
Before he gets a chance to say much, Eren has his hands firmly on his shoulders and is looking down at him with such focus in his eyes. Elliot can't help but look up and stare back into those eyes. Like Elliot's, they'd been changed to gray, but that didn't diminish the intensity of Eren's. And all that intensity was focused on him right now.
"I'm here."
Elliot's brain short-circuits for a moment at those words. He'd already been on an emotional roller coaster dealing with the news about his roommate and all its implications- and just having Eren of all people drive all this way to check up on him in person...
A thought bubble appears above Elliot's head as he stares at Eren. Perhaps unsurprisingly, his thoughts are full of musical scores. The language of music came just as naturally to him as English did. But among those complicated musical notes and symbols, is the lyrics to the song that's playing loud in his head right at this very moment:
♪ Intelligent eyes in a hunger-pang frame And when you said “Hi,” I forgot my dang name Set my heart aflame, ev’ry part aflame This is not a game… ♫
What a hopeless gay music nerd.
He doesn't seem to be aware of the thought bubble, too distracted. But after a moment (a long moment), his brain seems to reboot enough to actually remember what's going on. Right...sitting...he could use that right now.]
Y-Yeah....good idea. [Focus Elliot] M-my room's up the stairs.
[ What can he say— he's a loyal sucker for his real friends, and removing himself from the few hours of rest he had before that early bedtime was second nature to him if it involved importance. Once he's got Elliot's attention, his fingers give a light and supportive squeeze, as light as his rather brute hands can manage. Good. He's got his attention. Eyes on him. Focus on him. It's better than leading him into the next freak out.
Except there's . . . Something materializing over his head there. Again with this stuff–? Eren's focus shifts to a doubletake up and down until he's seeing . . . Notes, and poetry (those are lyrics). He doesn't care about the rumors, Retrospec had a running history of trying to mess with people. Real thoughts or not, it was just another reason to have them fret. Eren waves the thought bubble away like a cloud of smoke, frowning a little to himself for the unneeded anxiety it could cause for his friend, and blessed be, unknowing of what it really meant. Music's a way to cope, right? He's glad he could help. ]
Damn Retrospec—
[ Never mind that it has happened and will probably keep happening to him as well, but he's never seen his own. At least not yet. With a hand to Elliot's back to guide him back in, he follows and urges them forth. ]
Second floor, third right? [ It hasn't been that long since he's helped move in! Hopefully he got that right. ]
He blinks and looks up when Eren waves away at something over his head, seeing something dissolve like a wisp of smoke. Oh no, did one of those thought bubbles appear? That's...really embarrassing. He has no idea what it said, but it can't be too bad if Eren's not reacting to it right? ]
Oh...thanks.
[He gives a nod to Eren's question, starting to walk up the stairs and towards the room- all while acutely aware of Eren's hand on his back.
Elliot's bedroom is quite a bit different from the last time Eren was here, since now everything's unpacked. On the walls hang several posters: Hamilton, Les Miserables, an orchestra poster, the NYC skyline. The bookshelves are lined with CD albums, DVDs, and books: both school related and for pleasure. There's a shelf on the wall that sits a couple framed family photos, and another shelf under the window with pots full of soil. The desk has his laptop, open but in sleep mode, along with some schoolwork, and a stack of computer games-- about half of them multi-player games he's played with Eren in the past. And of course, there's a music stand with handwritten sheet music that's only halfway done- something he's been composing himself. His violin is shut up in its case, sitting on his dresser.
It's a very clean room and well organized, at least some aspects of military life rubbed off him.]
[ Eventually, once Elliot seems to take to his own walking, that helping hand would slip away and back to Eren's own side, following a hesitant rub on his fingers and shrugging off a sudden stiff feeling— maybe it was some mutual sort of tension that rubbed off on each other, but to hell if Eren really pinpointed the true reason. It was him, being stupid again, stilted when he knew he had every reason not to.
Don't act like a dumbass again, he tells himself, in words that come and go in swift succession over his head. Adjusting his aim and reminding himself why he's come, he exhales quietly, following inside and hey, he's totally going to sit in the one place he'd always sit: the floor, his back against the bed's end. Not before taking a look around the organized space that seemed very Elliot.
His lips quirk a little while eyes wander, landing on some papers that has Eren leaning a bit to see more of— he can't read the notes, but he can conclude it's a work in progress. With that information tucked away for later, he shifts around, stretching his legs out and allowing his boots to clap together. He directs himself to business, first. He's just— really worried if Elliot's okay, from the way they met downstairs. He cares a lot, and the now unreserved stare on the other is observing his body language like a hawk. ]
[Fortunately for Eren, that thought bubble comes and goes while Elliot's back is turned. With Eren sitting on the floor by the bed, Elliot moves to sit down at the desk chair, swiveling it around so he's facing Eren. His hands sit in his lap, feeling nervous as Eren's eyes wander around the room. Right, he's pretty glad he hid some of the stuff.
His question brings him back to what they were talking about earlier. That's right...that whole mess. Something that makes Elliot really uneasy.]
Not really? I-I talked to Ryoji the first day I came into town. He offered me this place if my dorm didn't work out. But it's not like I knew him...
[A thought bubble materializes: "But why say he was on vacation?" ]
[ He sees that one enough to pause now, lips slightly agape because that . . . Actually had continuation instead of randomly floating around. ❓❔❓cracks around him enough that he finds himself shooing it away like flies to get a better look. These— things, annoying as they were, didn't do much but make things more dramatic, but these bubbles? He thought they were random.
Instead of asking, he answers the written question without really thinking. ]
Maybe he didn't want to freak you out— but that's still no excuse. [ Then looks a tad more nervous to have realized he answered something unspoken. He points for a moment, almost immediately after. His interest seems to have migrated. ] Was . . . That really yours?
[A ❗ mark appears over his head when Eren answers something that he knew he had thought but hadn't said. Even with knowledge of the thought bubbles, it was still weird to have someone answer your thoughts. From Eren's body language, he seems to have realized it too, at least]
You mean the thought bubble? Y-Yeah, of course it was mine.
[But back on the topic.]
Not wanting to freak me out might've been Ryoji's reason after he heard I thought I was on vacation...but why did the landlord say it too? Landlords don't care that much about tenants's feelings.
[At least, not in NYC they don't]
But... [As he struggles to find a way to put into words, another thought bubble will appear. "What if something happens to us? Would everyone think we're on vacation?"]
[ Eren's beginning to glance up over his own head more and more, no matter how brief it was— no big deal, he was usually honest to start. Everything just blurted out most of the time. Then why is he so restless? If Eren weren't Eren, maybe he'd know what to define it as. He's actually worried about his own thoughts that not even he can properly understand them— and Elliot would? Who knew. Elliot had nothing to hide, anyway.
What Elliot does do at very acute levels is get Eren's attention as soon as he continues to speak. That's quite the power, there. But just as instantly as he's smoothed down, he could be rattled, and the choice of words he reads gets him to blurt out in sharp objection: ]
Nothing's gonna happen to us. [ But there are always things that Eren gets fierce with— he's not angry at his friend to have said it (thought it?) but one that would know Eren less would've winced. Intensity returns to give him wings, because if there was one thing that gave him life, it's what he chose to do with his life, the only thing he was good at.
He might not be good at some things— to be honest, he was average. Nothing over the top and only recognized for his indomitability, not his skill.
But hell if he wouldn't take it by the teeth, and if he can't pass that tranquility as a person, he'd never be able to do it as a soldier. As discolored as his eyes are, they're ready to tear Elliot's doubts to shreads. ] Not while I'm around.
[Elliot has long gotten used to Eren's intensity, so he doesn't wince. He knows the anger isn't directed at him, and that it's not really anger at all. It was determination and strength, a fire that burned inside of Eren and kept him going, no matter what. Elliot had no doubt in his mind that Eren completely meant that vow. If there was a wall blocking Eren from where he wanted to go, Elliot was sure he wouldn't stop punching it until he got through.
Instead, there's a bit of a contemplative expression on Elliot's face, before he seems to decide on something. He slides his chair over to nearby Eren. When he's close enough, he'll get out and...yep, pull Eren into a hug, arms wrapped around the other's neck, head resting on his shoulder.]
H-hey...it's alright. It was just a thought, okay? I know you wouldn't let anything happen to us...
[He can't see the other's face in this position, but that's probably for the best, since his face is pretty red just doing this. But he doesn't regret it. Mostly because this way? Eren can't read more of his thoughts. Thoughts that he's sure would upset him.
[You can't keep a promise like that. No one can. ...I'm still happy to hear it though. Ha, I'm hopeless. ]
[ He watches the approach until he can't really react properly. You've probably seen just how stunned an animal could get with lights in its face, and once arms are settled snug around his neck, his face that close to his— Eren freezes, he even catches himself holding his breath as his heart goes wild, from banging in his chest to drumming in his ears.
Maybe it is a good thing, that he doesn't see Elliot's thought, or his face, or even anything from his own part; Eren's ears are that plump shade of cherry, spreading over his nose and burning his face as slightly shaking hands settle over his back in return. This is . . . The toughest battle of all. It's even more frightening than going up against a monster, go figure. He's as tense as a wire, thousands of things going through his mind that go unvoiced, and from the position, unseen, thank god: I don't want to lose this, You think I'll let us die or something?, I'll protect him, He's really close, His hair smells nice, Christ what the fuck—
His throat is dry and his voice cracks, but he speaks up to fill his silence, low and half-muffled into clothes, rather larger arms around Elliot's smaller frame and settling better into the hug. Still tense, you can feel it on his shoulders, but he doesn't want to let go, if the squeeze is anything to go by. ]
[ He can feel how tense Eren is in the hug, and he's not at all surprised. Doing this wasn't exactly Elliot's first choice either. His own heart is racing, and his face matches his hair in color. ]
Aha, s-sorry. I know this is weird, buuut its the only way I could think of to avoid seeing each other's thoughts.
[It didn't feel right to have Eren reading off his thoughts. It made him way too self-conscious, too scared to think. He knows Eren didn't want that. In return, he wanted to respect his friend's own privacy too.
But at least Eren wasn't shoving him off. He thought he felt a squeeze...but he probably was just imagining that. ]
I know you'll keep it. You did get me through camp with my skin attached. [I just wish I could promise you the same. Some Craig I am.]
[ He kept . . . Reading his thoughts, again— he didn't mean to intrude on them, it was more a thing that was there and he reacted to it. Guilt sweeps his features and he's glad that Elliot doesn't see it, even if his tone gives him away rather horribly. You done fucked up, again, Eren. ]
. . . Sorry, for reading them like that. [ They're still. Hugging. He doesn't know what to do with his arms if it wasn't to keep them where they were and sit there as rigid as a bamboo stick, but he's heating up so bad he's probably sweating already. He really didn't know how to hide things. Maybe I should go, he considers; He came to check on him, and make sure he was okay with everything, not intrude on his privacy, accidentally or not.
But he didn't want to just leave either, what shitty friend levels are those. Turning his face sideways, carefully away from being too close to Elliot's everything, scent included: ] . . . You okay?
I-it's okay! I'm not mad at you. Really. I was reading your thoughts too, I know it's a little hard not to when they're just floating there. [It wasn't Eren's fault, it was whatever caused this to happen's fault. Retrospec? The app? Some Unreality issue? He has no idea, really.
But as far as he was concerned, Eren had done a really kind thing. He'd come all this way to check on him, to make sure he's okay. He didn't want him feeling like he messed up.]
Haha, well, this isn't exactly how I envisioned this going... [Sitting on the floor of his room, hugging Eren to keep his thoughts private. It's really a good thing his roommates weren't prone to walk into his room.
...Ah. Right. His roommates. Now there was a sobering thought. Sooner or later, he'd have to face them. He actually liked his roommates a lot, but after finding out they were possibly covering a death up from him, well, suddenly seeing them seemed more than a little awkward. ]
....I'm sorry, but would you mind...staying here for awhile? At least until I can think of how to face my roommates. I think they'll leave me alone if I have company.
[ And from the looks of things, nothing weird enough to react oddly came from his head. Good. At least now he doesn't has to worry about the ones that are hanging around now. There goes his plans to leave, not that he really wanted to, but— he's only worried that this could be awkward af. But if Elliot wanted him to stay some more, then . . . No red flags yet.
As far as he could tell, which isn't entirely accurate, but. ]
I— sure I will. [ Gently and obviously! At least he's not holding him in his lap or something. This sideways sort of hug is alright, it was okay (it was good); Eren only adjusts himself a tad, to keep the positioning a little more comfortable for the both of them. Is it hot in here, or is it just him. ] If you want to, uh . . . [ Stay like this— No, wait, not stay like this, exactly— ] Breathe, or, sit better or something— Promise I won't look up.
[Whoa, Eren actually agreed to stay? He'd been half-expecting him to tell him no way, since this was more than a little weird. But the thought that he agreed to stay...well, it makes him feel a little giddy inside, he has to admit.
Also nervous, because this is a weird situation and he's worried about screwing things up. But, giddy!]
T-Thanks. [That might have been an affectionate squeeze of Elliot's arms before he thinks better of it and loosens back up. Right. No. Keep your head on straight Craig. ] Yeah, just let me-
[He'll try to shift a little, to make himself more comfortable, being careful to make sure Eren doesn't have to let go-- I mean, to make sure Eren's not uncomfortable either. Jeez. He's a mess. And also feeling really hot-]
The squeeze is felt, making Eren give an unthought pat of reassurance just over Elliot's shoulder, where one of his arms still hung across. This isn't gay. If it were gay, Elliot would be super uncomfortable. And so would he, right? Like, too close for comfort! Eren knew he wasn't into guys. He was never really attracted to anyone! Except, in some weird way, for this guy, and he can't seem to get away from it.
If he can't say it, then he can just, perhaps, accept it a little more each second he wasn't getting thrown out. It didn't mean he was going to blurt something by word of mouth any time soon, or maybe never— alright, never is pretty drastic, but let's say Eren's not ready to get on his bike. He prefers just watching it and acknowledging it's there. He doesn't want to fall and break it.
Ohh, there, he's trying to move, and if Eren kept to his swimming thoughts he would've crammed Elliot under his weight. With sudden surprise, as if he had just noticed, his arms are quick to loosen up and hover over him. A quiet choke of a laugh comes, that awkward and nervous sort you make at a comedy bar when no one laughs at your jokes. Ah, shit, the window, er. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Ryoji Mochizuki.
When I moved in, the landlord said he was on vacation.
And no one told me otherwise.
Then today...this is where it gets crazy:
[He shares a link to Ryoji's video]
He shows up with that video.
Which was...pretty emotional for a vacation.
When I talked to him, he said it was a vacation too.
But there was some guy in the comments talking about going to his funeral.
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But the minute Eren's eyes graze over the name, he freezes. Ryoji Mochizuki. For a few seconds, he sits back and thinks shit, because he had died. Why would anyone hide that from a roommate? Why would anyone hide that at all? He begins to think how should I tell him, before the rest of the messages are sent through and words leave the pit of his stomach feeling uncomfortably icy, braiding into his ribs and tightening the space he had to breathe.
He shows up.
Eren might take a while to respond— he doesn't spend much time on the retrospec network unless it's for information, he wasn't much of media socializer to start; he was busy with the last few weeks before he officially stepped up his rank from trainee to airman, so skimming through the app was all he really did.
He watches this video, and reads the comments. After a few minutes, he finally responds. ]
ryoji mochizuki did die, elliot. dante rantanen told me what happened.
[ Attached is a screenshot of some of that conversation. ]
what the hell is going on
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I don't know.
[There's so many questions. Why didn't anyone tell him? Why did Ryoji come back? How? Why did people outside this app seemed to believe it was a vacation? If they died, would everyone in town just say the same thing about them? Would they be brought back?
Elliot's glad he's alone in his room. He doesn't want anyone reading the thoughts that are appearing above his head.]
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I'm coming over.
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[!!!!!!]
You don't have to! I'll be okay!
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He's known Eren long enough to know what THAT means. So after making an "oh no oh no" whine sound to himself (with gray squiggle lines to accompany of course) - he drops his phone on the bed and in a half-panic, jumps up and starts stashing all the stuff he does not want Eren to see. Mini-pride flag and LGBT pamphlets he picked up from the student center? Shoved into his desk. Childhood teddy bear? Stuffed under the bed. Laptop browser history? Oh you better believe it's deleted. He even considers hiding his family photos-- but yeah okay he doesn't risk damaging those and it'd be alright to acknowledge he has a family.
By the time Eren shows up, Elliot's going to be answering the door slightly out of breathe. Panic has a way of taking the wind out of you man]
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He must be acting up because of the news, or something along those very lines. ]
Hey, hey, relax— calm down, I'm here. [ With both hands on Elliot's shoulders, he strengthens his grip down firmly, but not enough to be rugged. With the focused look in his (now grey) eyes, he doesn't have to say it to present a credible argument: he's here and he'll take care of it. ] Let's sit you down.
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Before he gets a chance to say much, Eren has his hands firmly on his shoulders and is looking down at him with such focus in his eyes. Elliot can't help but look up and stare back into those eyes. Like Elliot's, they'd been changed to gray, but that didn't diminish the intensity of Eren's. And all that intensity was focused on him right now.
"I'm here."
Elliot's brain short-circuits for a moment at those words. He'd already been on an emotional roller coaster dealing with the news about his roommate and all its implications- and just having Eren of all people drive all this way to check up on him in person...
A thought bubble appears above Elliot's head as he stares at Eren. Perhaps unsurprisingly, his thoughts are full of musical scores. The language of music came just as naturally to him as English did. But among those complicated musical notes and symbols, is the lyrics to the song that's playing loud in his head right at this very moment:
♪ Intelligent eyes in a hunger-pang frame
And when you said “Hi,” I forgot my dang name
Set my heart aflame, ev’ry part aflame
This is not a game… ♫
What a hopeless gay music nerd.
He doesn't seem to be aware of the thought bubble, too distracted. But after a moment (a long moment), his brain seems to reboot enough to actually remember what's going on. Right...sitting...he could use that right now.]
Y-Yeah....good idea. [Focus Elliot] M-my room's up the stairs.
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Except there's . . . Something materializing over his head there. Again with this stuff–? Eren's focus shifts to a doubletake up and down until he's seeing . . . Notes, and poetry (those are lyrics). He doesn't care about the rumors, Retrospec had a running history of trying to mess with people. Real thoughts or not, it was just another reason to have them fret. Eren waves the thought bubble away like a cloud of smoke, frowning a little to himself for the unneeded anxiety it could cause for his friend, and blessed be, unknowing of what it really meant. Music's a way to cope, right? He's glad he could help. ]
Damn Retrospec—
[ Never mind that it has happened and will probably keep happening to him as well, but he's never seen his own. At least not yet. With a hand to Elliot's back to guide him back in, he follows and urges them forth. ]
Second floor, third right? [ It hasn't been that long since he's helped move in! Hopefully he got that right. ]
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He blinks and looks up when Eren waves away at something over his head, seeing something dissolve like a wisp of smoke. Oh no, did one of those thought bubbles appear? That's...really embarrassing. He has no idea what it said, but it can't be too bad if Eren's not reacting to it right? ]
Oh...thanks.
[He gives a nod to Eren's question, starting to walk up the stairs and towards the room- all while acutely aware of Eren's hand on his back.
Elliot's bedroom is quite a bit different from the last time Eren was here, since now everything's unpacked. On the walls hang several posters: Hamilton, Les Miserables, an orchestra poster, the NYC skyline. The bookshelves are lined with CD albums, DVDs, and books: both school related and for pleasure. There's a shelf on the wall that sits a couple framed family photos, and another shelf under the window with pots full of soil. The desk has his laptop, open but in sleep mode, along with some schoolwork, and a stack of computer games-- about half of them multi-player games he's played with Eren in the past. And of course, there's a music stand with handwritten sheet music that's only halfway done- something he's been composing himself. His violin is shut up in its case, sitting on his dresser.
It's a very clean room and well organized, at least some aspects of military life rubbed off him.]
M-Make yourself comfortable wherever you'd like, um...
[Though there's only the desk chair or the bed to sit on.]
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Don't act like a dumbass again, he tells himself, in words that come and go in swift succession over his head. Adjusting his aim and reminding himself why he's come, he exhales quietly, following inside and hey, he's totally going to sit in the one place he'd always sit: the floor, his back against the bed's end. Not before taking a look around the organized space that seemed very Elliot.
His lips quirk a little while eyes wander, landing on some papers that has Eren leaning a bit to see more of— he can't read the notes, but he can conclude it's a work in progress. With that information tucked away for later, he shifts around, stretching his legs out and allowing his boots to clap together. He directs himself to business, first. He's just— really worried if Elliot's okay, from the way they met downstairs. He cares a lot, and the now unreserved stare on the other is observing his body language like a hawk. ]
Did you guys know each other before?
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His question brings him back to what they were talking about earlier. That's right...that whole mess. Something that makes Elliot really uneasy.]
Not really? I-I talked to Ryoji the first day I came into town. He offered me this place if my dorm didn't work out. But it's not like I knew him...
[A thought bubble materializes: "But why say he was on vacation?" ]
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Instead of asking, he answers the written question without really thinking. ]
Maybe he didn't want to freak you out— but that's still no excuse. [ Then looks a tad more nervous to have realized he answered something unspoken. He points for a moment, almost immediately after. His interest seems to have migrated. ] Was . . . That really yours?
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You mean the thought bubble? Y-Yeah, of course it was mine.
[But back on the topic.]
Not wanting to freak me out might've been Ryoji's reason after he heard I thought I was on vacation...but why did the landlord say it too? Landlords don't care that much about tenants's feelings.
[At least, not in NYC they don't]
But... [As he struggles to find a way to put into words, another thought bubble will appear. "What if something happens to us? Would everyone think we're on vacation?"]
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What Elliot does do at very acute levels is get Eren's attention as soon as he continues to speak. That's quite the power, there. But just as instantly as he's smoothed down, he could be rattled, and the choice of words he reads gets him to blurt out in sharp objection: ]
Nothing's gonna happen to us. [ But there are always things that Eren gets fierce with— he's not angry at his friend to have said it (thought it?) but one that would know Eren less would've winced. Intensity returns to give him wings, because if there was one thing that gave him life, it's what he chose to do with his life, the only thing he was good at.
He might not be good at some things— to be honest, he was average. Nothing over the top and only recognized for his indomitability, not his skill.
But hell if he wouldn't take it by the teeth, and if he can't pass that tranquility as a person, he'd never be able to do it as a soldier. As discolored as his eyes are, they're ready to tear Elliot's doubts to shreads. ] Not while I'm around.
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Instead, there's a bit of a contemplative expression on Elliot's face, before he seems to decide on something. He slides his chair over to nearby Eren. When he's close enough, he'll get out and...yep, pull Eren into a hug, arms wrapped around the other's neck, head resting on his shoulder.]
H-hey...it's alright. It was just a thought, okay? I know you wouldn't let anything happen to us...
[He can't see the other's face in this position, but that's probably for the best, since his face is pretty red just doing this. But he doesn't regret it. Mostly because this way? Eren can't read more of his thoughts. Thoughts that he's sure would upset him.
[You can't keep a promise like that. No one can. ...I'm still happy to hear it though. Ha, I'm hopeless. ]
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Maybe it is a good thing, that he doesn't see Elliot's thought, or his face, or even anything from his own part; Eren's ears are that plump shade of cherry, spreading over his nose and burning his face as slightly shaking hands settle over his back in return. This is . . . The toughest battle of all. It's even more frightening than going up against a monster, go figure. He's as tense as a wire, thousands of things going through his mind that go unvoiced, and from the position, unseen, thank god: I don't want to lose this, You think I'll let us die or something?, I'll protect him, He's really close, His hair smells nice, Christ what the fuck—
His throat is dry and his voice cracks, but he speaks up to fill his silence, low and half-muffled into clothes, rather larger arms around Elliot's smaller frame and settling better into the hug. Still tense, you can feel it on his shoulders, but he doesn't want to let go, if the squeeze is anything to go by. ]
That's a promise.
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Aha, s-sorry. I know this is weird, buuut its the only way I could think of to avoid seeing each other's thoughts.
[It didn't feel right to have Eren reading off his thoughts. It made him way too self-conscious, too scared to think. He knows Eren didn't want that. In return, he wanted to respect his friend's own privacy too.
But at least Eren wasn't shoving him off. He thought he felt a squeeze...but he probably was just imagining that. ]
I know you'll keep it. You did get me through camp with my skin attached. [I just wish I could promise you the same. Some Craig I am.]
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. . . Sorry, for reading them like that. [ They're still. Hugging. He doesn't know what to do with his arms if it wasn't to keep them where they were and sit there as rigid as a bamboo stick, but he's heating up so bad he's probably sweating already. He really didn't know how to hide things. Maybe I should go, he considers; He came to check on him, and make sure he was okay with everything, not intrude on his privacy, accidentally or not.
But he didn't want to just leave either, what shitty friend levels are those. Turning his face sideways, carefully away from being too close to Elliot's everything, scent included: ] . . . You okay?
[ With this? ]
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But as far as he was concerned, Eren had done a really kind thing. He'd come all this way to check on him, to make sure he's okay. He didn't want him feeling like he messed up.]
Haha, well, this isn't exactly how I envisioned this going... [Sitting on the floor of his room, hugging Eren to keep his thoughts private. It's really a good thing his roommates weren't prone to walk into his room.
...Ah. Right. His roommates. Now there was a sobering thought. Sooner or later, he'd have to face them. He actually liked his roommates a lot, but after finding out they were possibly covering a death up from him, well, suddenly seeing them seemed more than a little awkward. ]
....I'm sorry, but would you mind...staying here for awhile? At least until I can think of how to face my roommates. I think they'll leave me alone if I have company.
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As far as he could tell, which isn't entirely accurate, but. ]
I— sure I will. [ Gently and obviously! At least he's not holding him in his lap or something. This sideways sort of hug is alright, it was okay (it was good); Eren only adjusts himself a tad, to keep the positioning a little more comfortable for the both of them. Is it hot in here, or is it just him. ] If you want to, uh . . . [ Stay like this— No, wait, not stay like this, exactly— ] Breathe, or, sit better or something— Promise I won't look up.
[ Just don't mind his palpable nervousness. ]
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Also nervous, because this is a weird situation and he's worried about screwing things up. But, giddy!]
T-Thanks. [That might have been an affectionate squeeze of Elliot's arms before he thinks better of it and loosens back up. Right. No. Keep your head on straight Craig. ] Yeah, just let me-
[He'll try to shift a little, to make himself more comfortable, being careful to make sure Eren doesn't have to let go-- I mean, to make sure Eren's not uncomfortable either. Jeez. He's a mess. And also feeling really hot-]
...T-Think we should open a window?
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The squeeze is felt, making Eren give an unthought pat of reassurance just over Elliot's shoulder, where one of his arms still hung across. This isn't gay. If it were gay, Elliot would be super uncomfortable. And so would he, right? Like, too close for comfort! Eren knew he wasn't into guys. He was never really attracted to anyone! Except, in some weird way, for this guy, and he can't seem to get away from it.
If he can't say it, then he can just, perhaps, accept it a little more each second he wasn't getting thrown out. It didn't mean he was going to blurt something by word of mouth any time soon, or maybe never— alright, never is pretty drastic, but let's say Eren's not ready to get on his bike. He prefers just watching it and acknowledging it's there. He doesn't want to fall and break it.
Ohh, there, he's trying to move, and if Eren kept to his swimming thoughts he would've crammed Elliot under his weight. With sudden surprise, as if he had just noticed, his arms are quick to loosen up and hover over him. A quiet choke of a laugh comes, that awkward and nervous sort you make at a comedy bar when no one laughs at your jokes. Ah, shit, the window, er. ]
It's— hot, right. [ eren ] Want me to get it?
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N-No, that's okay. I can get it. Just- close your eyes?
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