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[usurpers]

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[fiddlestick]

[Let's be real he probably eats pineapple pizza because it's the only fruit really allowed on pizza. Also sundried tomatoes. Though he's fine with pepperoni too. He's not picky.

Honestly, Eren saying that just gets a smile out of him. He doesn't take it personally, it's sweet and thoughtful. ]

Aww, you did? Thanks, you're so good to me.

[FEEL THOSE BOYFRIEND POINTS GO UP]

Can we eat it here? Um, I mean the apartment. Not the car.

[Just to be clear!! He rather stick close to Eren, and cozying up in a restaurant might get some looks]

[usurpers]

[ eren is one thousand percent okay with pineapple pizza. that’s three, three whole pies he’s buying you thought he wouldn’t want some himself. and of course, share his supreme amount of cheese and meat. he can feel those points shoot up. the night got a little better. honestly, it was better the minute he spoke to elliot, regardless of the road rage and bouts of irritation. everything wasn’t fixed— but it was better. they needed clear heads for tomorrow, and they needed this. he’d still be thinking about it at the back of his mind, and he might not be able to seem too carefree, because it’s not really in his nature to— but, he tries to smile.

they’ll calm down first, then they’ll get to any exploration done, and done with full success.

eren already has the order open up online on his phone, finalizing what he left with a delivery and shifting the car back into gear. ]

You got it. [ okay, so he does dangerously speed into the garage to get some squeals, but he’s got this, slowing down once he’s at the ramp’s entrance and descending to his parking space. pausing before he gets out of the car, he leans over to the passenger seat, to face elliot and reaching for his hand. it’s a concerned hold, one that’s uncertain of what’s to come and what’s happening, but . . . he wants to believe in one thing, if he could. ] . . . I still wanna have a good night. [ cuddled up and sharing pizza, talking shit, and don’t think he forgot about that siri text. ]

[fiddlestick]

[Elliot knows the worries will be in the back of Eren's mind, because it'll be on his mind too. But he knows that made it even more important for them to take a step back. They won't benefit if Eren goes into his rage mode, or Elliot works himself into a panic. They needed a breather.

And at this point, he's used to Eren speeding into the garage like this, so he just holds onto the dashboard with one hand without remarking on the speed. He trusts Eren not to crash. Eren wouldn't be reckless while he was in the car.]

We will. I think we both could use the break.

[usurpers]

[ he’s just attempting what he always does, with “responsible” playfulness. he’s ready to leave the car and, whoops, not whoops, he snags elliot’s bag from the passenger seat to carry himself while elliot gets out of his own side. there’s an elevator right over there. ]

Then let’s get it started. [ he meets elliot half way to hook his arm around his shoulder. ] And you still need to tell me what you said before.

[ what was “pelican” . . . ]

[fiddlestick]

[What a gentlemen. When Eren does that, he'll step a little closer, wrapping his own arm around the small of Eren's back]

Haha, oh right.

I said "Eren Jaeger is the pinnacle of boyfriends. My heart crescendos just thinking about him".

[usurpers]

[ oh my god. elliot, the elevator they just walked into is going to turn into some kind of spontaneous sauna because did you just cute that hard to make him blush. ]

Crescendo? [ he emphasizes with warm amusement, because elliot certainly did music pun and called him a high point. he can’t even say anything without his cheeks stinging a little, his arm beginning to squeeze him into a lock for kisses. ] I should’ve known you’d do this to me.

[ look at the mess he’s in

the true monster is you ]

[fiddlestick]

[Elliot giggles as he gets pulled into a lock, beaming up at Eren. Heck yeah he called you a high point in music puns. ]

Hehe, yep! Of course I could never resist a music pun.

[He'll accept his monstrous nature]

Want me to come up with more?

[usurpers]

[ they have a few moments from here to the floor and delivery time, so . . . ]

Think I can keep up with you?

[fiddlestick]

[!!!]

Are you challenging me to a pun-off?

[EREN WHAT ARE YOU DOING]

[usurpers]

[ SOMETHING HE’LL REGRET, and it took him literally minutes before he decided to voice the challenge to think of this one. he’s going to lose. ]

Look . . . I get if you think it’s too hard to Handel.

[ but he’s got spunk to try anyway. his boyfriend loves these. ]

[fiddlestick]

[Oh Eren. You at least will succeed at getting a smile on your boyfriend's face, as he's got one right now]

I don't think that. I just worry about you dealing with the re-percussions of losing so badly.

[usurpers]

[ oh christ he’s gonna die. ]

Then, I . . . Might . . . Cause some treble for you.

[fiddlestick]

Haha, don't be so brass, Eren. This is my forte.

[usurpers]

[ once the elevator rings, eren guides them out and juggles the keys, giving a quiet uhhh and ultimately using that to stall. eren, you cheater. ]

You don’t even . . . [ no, wait, that doesn't work. backpedal! ] Should’ve known I’d be up against a— maestro?

[ HE STILL IN ]

[fiddlestick]

[EREN YOU CHEATER. Elliot is giving him a Look. Dude. That shouldn't even count. He steps out of the elevator]

Hehe, what a sad note. I should've known you weren't on my scale. We can have the finale and end it now, unless you want to chime in another try?

[usurpers]

Christ—

[ elliot no, that’s like whipping out a bazooka against his desert eagle??? how is this even possible. eren just smiles, and smiles weakly the more he gets bombarded, and once the door’s open and they’re stepping inside (hello titan, hello), his mouth is doing that moving but nothing’s coming out. ]

I’m on a . . . Highway to hell.

[ HE’S CHUCKLING AND JUST HANGING HIS HEAD, HE’S OUT OF PUNS. HE’S ONLY GOT LYRICS 😭 ]

[fiddlestick]

[YOU BROUGHT A KNIFE TO A BAZOOKA FIGHT WHAT DID YOU EXPECT. Never mess with a musical genius that loves puns. Never.

he laughs]

Okay, now you're cheating. The Maestro line was bad enough, but song lyrics just fall flat.

Admit your decresendo into defeat, Jaeger.

[usurpers]

[ how could this happen to me, i’ve made my mistakes, got nowhere to run . . . ]

It wasn’t that bad— [ then after setting elliot’s bag on the couch and puffing his cheeks out with determined huffs of air . . . he finally holds his hands up. ] Okay. Okay, you win.

[ he’s vulnerable! ]

You can spare a guy that didn’t even know decresendos were a thing?

[fiddlestick]

[Aw yaaais, victory. Elliot does a little fist pump while grinning]

Heehee, decrescendos are when you go from loud to soft.

[though Eren's only volume is loud, so it's understandable he wouldn't know that. But while Eren's arms are up, he'll step in close to wrap his arms around his waist in an embrace. He rests his head on his shoulder as he looks up with him with a playful smile]

Sorry, can't spare you. Not when you're my prize.

[usurpers]

[ hey .......... . . . .

but forget about decrescendos, even if he gives an ahh of newfound understanding, only dropping his arms to elliot’s waist once he’s hooked his around them, taking enough steps back to lean against the couch’s arm rest. god that fist pump was cute. he looks so tormented for not being spared (no he loves it, look at his crooked smile, nose to nose) ]

I don’t think I want mercy, then. [ just no more pun bombarding ] What’s first?

[fiddlestick]

[ Yep, that is a look of a man being tormented. What a terrible fate. ]

Haha, that depends. When is the pizza getting here?

[usurpers]

[ he’s doomed, oh, the agony . . . ]

Few more minutes, maybe?

[ all eren needs to plot his victory, trying to pull elliot a little more into him and the lean back. it’s a trap. be smarter than his thighs. ]

[fiddlestick]

[Are you kidding, he may be a musical genius but he ain't a genius in other fields. He does not realize he's being tricked at all]

Few minutes? Hm, okay..let's see...

[He did not plan this out, so he has to think- leaving him wide open]

[usurpers]

[ and the fourth wall crowd goes wild as the jaws theme plays! elliot, no!! get out of the water!! it’s not safe!! eren just keeps eyes on him, innocently enough but smiling probably a little too sly the more he gets close to the nab— like a constricting snake going for the kill, he sits his weight back against the couch and picks his legs up, locking around elliot’s waist. aw, look, he’s being affectionate! eren’s thighs are good huggers.

until he pulls his arm up and hooks it around elliot’s head, falling backwards onto the couch with the most vanilla guillotine choke. there is no pulling or squeezing, safety first, but there is nuzzling and no way to get out of it. ]

Time’s up!

[fiddlestick]

[Elliot sees his doom the moment Eren picks his legs up and locks them around his waist. He knows this is not how you show affection, this is how--]

Oh no-

[But it's too late! Before he can react, there's an arm around his neck and he's falling down onto the couch. He lets out a squeak of surprise as he falls into the hold, which is thankfully not painful compared to how that one in the gif looks, holy crap]

H-Hey!