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[usurpers]

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[usurpers]

[ way to make him quietly smile, elliot . . . it is a silent deal. ]

whoa
so you can just.... choose who you want to link with while fighting?

[fiddlestick]

Sorta?
I remember being able to link with a couple friends in class.

But I don't think I can do it in this world.
Or at least, I haven't figured out how yet.

[usurpers]

most of the things we did there we probably could do here eventually
keep your eyes open for something new, you’re always getting spells

your magic always is but that’s really cool

[fiddlestick]

Eheh, good point.
If I ever figure it out, I'll let you know.

Yeah, it seemed really useful!
Though it probably takes a great deal getting used to.
Apparently my friends and I would practice outside of class to get a handle on it.

[usurpers]

just like that?
if it’s anything like these links with our partners now you guys must’ve really trusted each other

[fiddlestick]

...Yeah. I think we did.

[There's a pause]

Actually, I got a class photo from Retrospec.
Back in December.

[usurpers]

really? from the christmas presents?
that’s nice you know, my past time didn’t have pictures
does it have that nostalgic feeling?

[fiddlestick]

Yeah, it does.
I didn't show it before because I was kinda embarrassed...

[usurpers]

cmonnn about what?? it can’t be as bad as the yearbooks of today

[fiddlestick]

Well-
Hold on, I have a copy of it in my phone.

[A moment later he'll send this photo that looks like a phone photo taken of an actual physical old photo. Minus the copyright stuff of course]

[usurpers]

[ . . . ]

you’re embarrassed because you were happy?

[fiddlestick]

[.............]

Ha...ha...
Yeah, it DOES sounds silly when you put it that way.

[usurpers]

[ a man that remains pure: the ultimate boyfriend ]

it’s alright to get good things from then
I’D want those
as long as we don’t forget about here, you taught me that

and honestly..... i did the same thing with mine
for a different reason but it’s sort of the same thing at the core

[fiddlestick]

Right, of course.
Don't worry, I'm not forgetting about here.
Though it does make feel a little better to hear you say that...

Huh? What core is that?

[usurpers]

you’d probably say the same thing to me

you want to hide it. could be because you don’t want to remember or because you don’t want other people to get the wrong idea. i guess it was both for me?
i got my past dad’s glasses.

[fiddlestick]

Your past dad's glasses...?

[There's a pause. He wants to inquire more, but Eren just said it was something he doesn't want to remember- so it'd be mean to force him to do so. It's probably go some real bad baggage if Eren's pushing it away. It made his own reason feel silly in comparison.]

I guess it's something like that...
I dunno. The whole past memories thing is still confusing sometimes.
I mean, I really do want to make sure they're all okay but...

Is it bad that part of me resents them a little?

[usurpers]

that was my same reaction for five seconds

[ elliot’s a sweetheart, but— eren wouldn’t have brought it up in the first place if he didn’t feel ready to talk about it. it took some months, but this mission . . .

his eyes are far more opened than they were. it has some ways to go, but he prefers it this way. ]

it’s hard to change how we feel over night. i don’t think so. i do it.
a lot.
why do you?

[fiddlestick]

And after those five seconds...?

[Because okay, as much as he doesn't want to upset Eren by prying- that's also a weird way to phrase it

It's nice to hear Eren does resent it too. Makes him feel less like a terrible person]

Well, I'm sure they're nice people
And none of this is their fault
But I feel like I'm being set up to live some life I didn't choose all over again.
I can't help but resent that a little.

[usurpers]

i threw up on akira
but he took me home and showed me magic tricks

[ HE’LL EXPLAIN BUT. good . . . end?????

but there’s a fair pause here. it’s the same thing— and he can’t help but to feel relief when this all bubbles up in his throat and . . . he’s not afraid to say it. ]

i need to tell you something i didn’t before because i needed to think about it and get to the conclusion on my own
you gave me word last time, so
i think it’s my turn

[fiddlestick]

Okay, I feel like something's missing with that story?
But that does sound like something Akira would do.

[Akira is a weird but good dude, after all]

Huh? What is it?

[usurpers]

these memories are either going to make us really, really strong or completely useless elliot.
even before the titan powers i’ve been afraid
you just get the feeling that things can repeat themselves, that goes for everyone

i remembered picking up my dad’s glasses as a kid in the middle of the woods, alone, in a no titan zone. he’d been half eaten. the conclusion’s pretty obvious.

[ a pause. ]

and that’s just one of them. i’m not the person i thought i was in these memories. maybe i just wanted to be special or whatever, something stupid like that so i waited. like a dumbass, twice. and that just made my first few days here shitty and not just for me.

it’s all up to us. the only person who’s going to affirm that you’re turning into someone you’re not is you. i’m done being trapped like that.
from now on i make my own damn choices because no one else has that sort of power over me but me. if memories are that much stronger than our will than you’re already signing papers. don’t let that happen.

[fiddlestick]

Eren...

[That's...what do you even say to memories like that? Elliot had some bad memories, but none of them that made him doubt question things about himself like that. There's a pause before he responds.]

I wish we were having this conversation in person. [He can't hug you over text!]

I'm really proud of you.
You actually sound like you did when we first met.
Remember? When you yelled at me about complying to my family's dreams instead of following my own?

[usurpers]

we can always talk about it when we feel cornered, a lot more things happened.

[ he’s not about to chipperly bring up war, but . . . haha. that makes his heartstone warm. ]

it was about time he came back
sometimes we just need to remember that we’re the ones that put chains on us in the first place.
other eren made his choices because he had to. i’m making mine because i want to.

[fiddlestick]

Yeah, and we will if you want to. I just mean, I'm not always the best with words? But I know how to hug. Like I'd be giving you one right now.

[Especially when sometimes, there are no words to be said, but over text- silence just comes off all wrong. ]

You're right. We're our own best jailkeepers.
I believe in you Eren, that you'll be the man you want.
But don't think you have to do it alone, you know.
We are a team.

[usurpers]

i can feel it from here. and i do.
if it’s something that doesn’t matter to me i shouldn’t be dead set on keeping it from you anyway
if you found out on your own somehow, like those train carts in the tunnels? you wouldn’t like it. no one does.

[ even if there’s gracious understanding in the middle of it, that’s just the way things are, that’s just how . . . human nature is. and like he said to yusuke, he’s sure of something: he doesn’t want to be that sort of person to elliot. he’s kept enough things, and unfortunate for him, it’s the kind that eats at him. like he’s doing more wrong than he is good.

and when that starts happening, the red flags should go up. if they don’t, then you’re still doing good. keep at it. ]

and i don’t have any reason to worry if that isn’t going to be me in the end
automatically you don’t worry either

[ that’s just how strong confidence is. it’s contagious. and he still wants to be that sturdy safe haven he’s always wanted to be for him. ]

that’s our team. and i always want you in it.
the same way i want to be there
right now