ic contact 💥 recollé

[usurpers]

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[fiddlestick]

Yeah, I'll eat them.
Even drink the sports drinks.
If only because you're good at being persuasive.

[usurpers]

[ score????? but not without his own half of the bargain, elliot wasn’t the only one who had a wrong. ]

if i said all this before you wouldn’t have gotten momed in the first place
so we’ll talk if we need to
i know how much that sucks and i should be your boyfriend over anything

[ his now family is rather loose though, including his sister— but in the past life, what he remembers of mikasa was sometimes suffocating. let’s not. ]

[fiddlestick]

Don't worry, I'm still holding you to saying something first in the future.
But...I can admit I overreacted too.
You know how doting my family can be
But at least you didn't ask one of my teammates to be my bodyguard. [UNLIKE NATALIA]

[usurpers]

wait who did that

[fiddlestick]

Natalia.
She asked Gar to "protect me", so he keeps insisting he's my bodyguard.
The worst part is he's 15.

[usurpers]

ok now i get why you reacted that way
no offense to natalia, she’s your family but
what the fuck

[fiddlestick]

Ahaha...
No it's fair.
My family's always like this. They mean well, but it can be really...

[Embarrassing, demeaning, demoralizing, suffocating, insulting- take your pick really]

[usurpers]

bad
that’s when they don’t directly breathe down your neck

i gotta ask though are you sure that wasn’t just a joke
he’s 15

[fiddlestick]

Yeah.

Oh I'm sure.
He's the most fifteen 15-year-old I've ever met.
If that makes sense.
He even tries to use axe body spray to get out of washing.

[usurpers]

ok
you need a plan of attack

[fiddlestick]

I had been thinking about dumping water on him to help with the smell...

[Just you know, it's a matter of working up the nerve. Which is no small feat for Elliot]

[usurpers]

you mean clorox
listen, 15 year olds that use ax are all the same
bribe him to get off your back with some of that whey

[fiddlestick]

Haha, bleach WOULD be more effective
But I can't conjure that.

Really? The whey?
You sure that'll work?

[usurpers]

zee could probably get you some

but, yeah. if he uses axe he believes the commercials
every kid thinks they’ll buff out with whey in like five seconds
if he’s that dead set on bodyguarding someone he doesn’t even know, for natalia, he wants to be reliable.
he won’t say no to “muscle in a single meal”
but only if he leaves you alone

[fiddlestick]

I'm not asking Zee for bleach.

That's...pretty good reasoning
I could see him buying into that.
Maybe I'll try it after we finish our next job
We got assigned to the same team, so there's no avoiding him even with bribes.

[usurpers]

he probably would give it to you though

it’s foolproof. try it the second he comes at you with that bodyguard crap
there can only be one anyway

[fiddlestick]

Oh, I'm sure he would. And that's why I'm not asking.

Haha...
Eren, you're not jealous of Gar, are you?

[usurpers]

what no
he’s 15
i’m just saying

[ might be like 20% gar’s not allowed to call himself bodyguard ]

[fiddlestick]

You're my only cool and dashing bodyguard.
Promise.

[usurpers]

i know. the best one out there.

tell me how it goes with the kid. i’d tell you to send a bodyguard after natalia but something tells me she’d like it

[fiddlestick]

Yep. Accept no substitute.

Haha, she probably would.
No point parking up that tree.

[usurpers]

not when you got things under control now anyway

also, re: subs, i'll fight for that you know

*barking, way to go me

[fiddlestick]

I know you would.
But you won't ever have to.

(i did not see a thing 👌👀)

[usurpers]

the same way that cool and dashing bodyguard is exclusive to one elliot craig ;)

[fiddlestick]

Haha.
Even when I was annoyed at you, you manage to make me miss you all the more
Are you sure you aren't the one who can cast spells?