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[usurpers]

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[fiddlestick]

Thank you.


[a pause]


Define "cooperate"?

[usurpers]

try to understand this
please don’t take your weight loss as just a few pounds
that’s your body eating up fat reserves to survive because you don’t have what you need for maintainence
except you don’t have reserves, you’re naturally thin. it’s going to burn muscle because there’s no other option and you’ll never get that back once it’s gone.
if it doesn’t do that you wouldn’t be able to take a walk, let alone magic. that you need. it’s not just a few pounds, it’s a yellow flag.

[ eren your dr. jaeger is showing ]

if you get how important it is you’ll automatically know what you have to do, i don’t need to keep hounding you. i just don’t want other people to screw you over.

[fiddlestick]

[HHNNNNNNGH NOT THE MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE. Elliot always forgets about that ace, mostly because Eren only pulls it out in major situations.

There's a delay in his response. But finally-]

Fine. I'll cooperate.

[He's not thrilled about it, but he can't really argue against something like that.]

I'm sorry. I just wanted to be a good teammate.

[Except that his anxiety and perfectionist tendencies blurred the lines so it was hard to tell what you were supposed to do as a good teammate, and what you should do to take care of yourself.]

[usurpers]

[ thank god eren didn’t actually go for med school, he’d be the most annoying doctor in history. but, there’s no need to bring up dad’s demonic teachings anymore. that summoning circle can go back under the rug. ]

you’re an amazing teammate, I know that more than anyone here. you can do things that no one else can, and your group needs that. you know how much of a wildcard you are? healing, support and attack? they rely on you. i know i would.
think of that when you’re filling your plate instead of theirs. i know you can do it.

[fiddlestick]

[Holy crap]

Eren...

[That is beyond sweet??? Elliot can't respond for awhile because he's legit touched by Eren's words, reading them over and over. Eren wasn't one to make up stuff either- he really did mean it. He tries a few times, but deletes before typing out]

You're really sweet. [He loves you so much??]

[usurpers]

i’m honest

[ god damn if he could see elliot’s reaction right now. but, well, at least he feels it, and more than that is his satisfaction in his words getting through to him. he saw that pause!! and that constant typing!! ]

so you’ll at least eat the chocolate ones?

[fiddlestick]

Yeah, I'll eat them.
Even drink the sports drinks.
If only because you're good at being persuasive.

[usurpers]

[ score????? but not without his own half of the bargain, elliot wasn’t the only one who had a wrong. ]

if i said all this before you wouldn’t have gotten momed in the first place
so we’ll talk if we need to
i know how much that sucks and i should be your boyfriend over anything

[ his now family is rather loose though, including his sister— but in the past life, what he remembers of mikasa was sometimes suffocating. let’s not. ]

[fiddlestick]

Don't worry, I'm still holding you to saying something first in the future.
But...I can admit I overreacted too.
You know how doting my family can be
But at least you didn't ask one of my teammates to be my bodyguard. [UNLIKE NATALIA]

[usurpers]

wait who did that

[fiddlestick]

Natalia.
She asked Gar to "protect me", so he keeps insisting he's my bodyguard.
The worst part is he's 15.

[usurpers]

ok now i get why you reacted that way
no offense to natalia, she’s your family but
what the fuck

[fiddlestick]

Ahaha...
No it's fair.
My family's always like this. They mean well, but it can be really...

[Embarrassing, demeaning, demoralizing, suffocating, insulting- take your pick really]

[usurpers]

bad
that’s when they don’t directly breathe down your neck

i gotta ask though are you sure that wasn’t just a joke
he’s 15

[fiddlestick]

Yeah.

Oh I'm sure.
He's the most fifteen 15-year-old I've ever met.
If that makes sense.
He even tries to use axe body spray to get out of washing.

[usurpers]

ok
you need a plan of attack

[fiddlestick]

I had been thinking about dumping water on him to help with the smell...

[Just you know, it's a matter of working up the nerve. Which is no small feat for Elliot]

[usurpers]

you mean clorox
listen, 15 year olds that use ax are all the same
bribe him to get off your back with some of that whey

[fiddlestick]

Haha, bleach WOULD be more effective
But I can't conjure that.

Really? The whey?
You sure that'll work?

[usurpers]

zee could probably get you some

but, yeah. if he uses axe he believes the commercials
every kid thinks they’ll buff out with whey in like five seconds
if he’s that dead set on bodyguarding someone he doesn’t even know, for natalia, he wants to be reliable.
he won’t say no to “muscle in a single meal”
but only if he leaves you alone

[fiddlestick]

I'm not asking Zee for bleach.

That's...pretty good reasoning
I could see him buying into that.
Maybe I'll try it after we finish our next job
We got assigned to the same team, so there's no avoiding him even with bribes.

[usurpers]

he probably would give it to you though

it’s foolproof. try it the second he comes at you with that bodyguard crap
there can only be one anyway

[fiddlestick]

Oh, I'm sure he would. And that's why I'm not asking.

Haha...
Eren, you're not jealous of Gar, are you?

[usurpers]

what no
he’s 15
i’m just saying

[ might be like 20% gar’s not allowed to call himself bodyguard ]

[fiddlestick]

You're my only cool and dashing bodyguard.
Promise.