[It's been a few days since they've returned to the city. Elliot's had a chance to unwind, they both had a chance to really unwind, and start to return to their normal lives. It really did feel good to be back.
But he hasn't forgotten about that one agreement they made. The one to talk about their memories. It'd be easier to put it off for longer but...no. They needed to do this. Or at least, take the first steps]
Are you free tonight? I don't have classes tomorrow morning, so it'd be a good night to talk about memories if you're ready.
behold! eren had just finished a few things that were on his mind. and bank account. things were starting to fall into routine again, at least eren was trying to grasp at his obligations and get back to work, catch up on material and training, all that— and of course, superficially plan a few things with elliot for the month that he said he’d do, as well as things he hadn’t mentioned yet. elliot beat him to the punch and he’s . . . actually happy that he did. it was a sign that he wanted to do it, too. ]
just in time. and i’m ready when you are. you’ll stay over right?
[He smiles when he sees the message. Good. He'd be more worried if Eren tried to put it off. They can do this]
Yeah, I will.
Actually, I was thinking we start the evening at my house. We can hang out in my room and we can make hotpot together as we talk. It's good and fun, and it means we don't accidentally ruin one of our favorite foods if the talks are rough. And then after that to unwind, we can go for a ride. Then we can go back to your place, and...unwind some more, I guess?
How's that sound? I don't want to throw any surprises since I feel the talk is gonna be surprising enough for both of us.
[SO HE THOUGHT IT ALL THROUGH AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE]
[ . . . he really cares, look how much he thought about it. it doesn’t interfere with any of eren’s equal plans for the day, in fact, they complete them. they’re even a team without wanting to be. ]
sounds even better now
[ elliot will see why hehe ]
want me to bring anything that isn’t dessert? already got that covered
it’s with other keys 👍 but i’ll bring the goods see you then elliot
[ once it’s six, eren should be there, already walking in and up the stairs, saying hi to anyone around if they were there— odd, eren didn’t make a sound when he got here. no motorcycle roar, no engine rumbling. just silence.
because he’s got something super fancy parked a block and corner away and came walking. he doesn’t want to spoil the surprise so soon. memory theater first. so creaking the door open, eren peeks inside with a bag of things in one hand and two fancy glasses held in the other. psst he goes. ]
[As promised, Elliot was in his room. The room looks mostly the same, except for in the middle of the room, a small table that's low enough to sit on the floor around has been brought up and set there. On the table, there was a cooking pot on a hotplate, full of a reddish broth that Elliot was tending to (which is why he asked Eren to come up, he didn't want to leave it alone too long). On plates next to the pot, there's a bunch of ingredients: tomatoes, eggs, noodles, mushrooms, tofu. And of course for Eren, there's loads of cut up raw meats: beef, pork, chicken, lamb, and even some fish. There's enough here to feed two people, maybe a little more, but there's more meat than anything else. He's also got chopsticks and ladles to help move stuff around.
Basically? It's a bit like a fondue pot, but for meat. 👌
Elliot's sitting at the table, sitting more to the side as if to make room for Eren to sit next to him. He had been listening for the motorcycle, so when Eren says psst? He looks up in surprise]
Eren! [The surprise turns into a genuine warm smile] Hehe, wow. I didn't hear you at all!
[ the more eren opens the door in a bright smile, the more it rushes into a surprised grin at both elliot and the meat surprise he’s prepared for them. goodness, what a smell. what a feast, and there’s a sparkle in eren’s eyes when he glances over the new library of meat to choose from. holy cow ✨ like, for real.]
Decided to take a walk instead.
[ but eren you’re not sweating bullets . . . anyway!! flipping the cups onto the table, eren slides over and fits a well planted, happy kiss to elliot’s lips. pulling back and smiling, eren still looks in awe across their table. his mouth waters. ]
[A walk? It's a little strange, but Elliot believes the answer. Maybe Eren needed the walk to help get him mentally prepared for this. That was more than fair.
He smiles as he returns the kiss, before patting the floor next to him for Eren to sit down next to him.]
You like it? This is Hot Pot! Basically you take what ingredients you want to eat, and cook it in the broth here at the table.
Yusuke and Akira did it with me once. It's a good meal to talk with.
[ when your boyfriend believes your not-lies in the name of surprises (because he didn’t actually lie haha). eren scoots up into the comfort of the seat, unfolding his legs from sitting on them to a cross. ]
It’s the best idea I’ve seen, look at the meat. Japanese?
[ his expression remains bright, fishing through his plastic bag for The Stuff. two packs of mega stuffed oreos, first, because yes, then the mocktails, lined up one by one in front of them: vida loca magarita, cranberry fizz, the karma sucra cosmopolitan and scottish lemonade whiskey sour. they could just choose the one they wanted and eren would prep it in the little kit that came with the bottles. ]
[He googled this stuff!! He makes an impressed sound at the mocktails that he pulls out. Elliot doesn't actually know the difference between them, so he just picks the one with the name he likes the most - aka the Vida Loca Magarita] This one!
[And now that Eren's here? He's gonna go ahead and drop a couple slices of beef and tomatoes into the pot for himself to show him how it's done. Cook my pretties]
[ eren has lived on these with the few outings he’s ever been to. they are good. and the vida loca magarita, with its limey citrus splash blend, is a refreshing choice as any. eren starts shaking up, playing personal barista, wink wonk. ]
That enough for a story each?
[ he says as he shakes the drinks— it doesn’t look like it takes too long to cook, but even if it did, it’s quick to eat. eren pops an extra two pieces of lamb in there with some satisfaction. ]
[He smiles at Eren as he shakes up the drinks like a bartender. So cool looking]
I think so. [He gives a little nod] Also, I was thinking when we share stories...to help keep from getting muddled, let's talk about them in the third person. We can even give our other selves different names too. Like..."Chad", or something.
[ eren gives a single huffed laugh, amused, but clearly approving of the idea the more he thought about it. sure, he had a feeling it was him, under a different circumstance, and he probably accepted that— but they could do it this time. he’ll never be bad end eren, anyway. ]
Alright, [ he says with raised brows, pouring their drinks into fancy cups and needing to briefly read the instructions. it says to rub the glass rims with salt, get some lemon slices in there, so doing that (because let’s just say they have everything): ] . . . Junior.
[ serving their finished drinks, eren adds: ]
The name Dad wanted to give me, Grisha Jr. Mom wanted me to have my own name.
[ another reason why he fucking loves his mom so much and dad loses more points. ]
[He makes a face at that and laughs. He can't picture Eren as a Junior or a Grisha at all. Eren was Eren. So, the name was perfect. He knows they both know it was them in another life, but he figures it'll make things easier to share if they act like there's some distance. Like a whole "asking for a friend" trick.
He'll take a sip of his drink. Oh this is good.]
Junior's perfect. And mine will be... Elton. There were jerks in high school that'd call me that sometimes. [You know, because gay musician like Elton John. No one ever said bullies were creative.
But with the names established...there was no more way to prolong it. Since this was all Elliot's idea? He takes a bit of a deep breathe and start it off]
Speaking of dads...m- [correcting himself] Elton's dad is still alive.
[ eren amiably shrugs at the laugh— yeah, he didn’t know why dad wanted it either. hunches say some fancy chain of doctor jaegers and he’s glad that mom gave him that first push to breaking a chain that never was. elliot’s own dummy name’s origin gets a face and a disapproving shake of the head, but. the world makes u-turns. bullies will meet their end. he takes a sip of his own drink and hums, coming out in surprise. ]
[Eren please don't go after the high school bullies, they're back in NYC and hopefully growing up not to be crappy people]
I dunno about Mom- his mom. [Yeah, let's not get the wires crossed there] I just saw his dad.
He's not like mine. I mean, he was still in the military. Some type of General- higher than my dad got. [He only made it to Colonel when he passed] But it was a different guy? He was this huge guy with red hair. He was standing on a tank. I think the base we were at was under attack, and he was in command. [...] He was...really cool? Larger than life, I guess. [badass] Elton even admitted he was, which I think was high praise.
[He can't help but feel a little jealous about that. He thought his own dad was cool, no question of that. But he knows he never got to reach the father-son stage that Elton and his dad had. He never got to be embarrassed by his dad, or have times where he thought him uncool. He had with Carlos but...it wasn't the same.]
but back to what mattered, eren listens completely as elliot describes him, finding himself smiling as he pokes around at the meat they left but hardly taking his eyes off of elliot much. having the time of his life with chopsticks (aka, the battle of the year), eren, after much struggle, ends up using the two sticks under both sides of a piece, like a spatula, and setting it on elliot’s plate before going after his own.
do not laugh, but marvel at his hashi coordination skills. ]
He sounds like a beast. [ honestly, it was the kind of father he’s always wanted to have. it wasn’t fair to say he lucked out, at least he still had a father. he knows what it’s like to be without one, too. with curiosity as he slips a piece of meat into his mouth (and hums in delight! what delicious broth), he asks: ] What’d it feel like?
[Well Eren the clear answer is to marry Elliot and let Olaf Craig be your father-in-law. Prepare your ribcage for bear hugs though.
Elliot watches Eren struggle with the chopsticks. He could help him out, but nah, this is something Eren needs to do for himself. He can teach him proper chopstick use later and impress him. For now, he won't laugh though, but there is a small smile on his face.
When Eren sets the piece of meat on his plate, he'll pick it up adeptly with his own chopsticks and eat it. That is good. Chewing gives him time to think of how to answer, because lord, did Eren step into a hornet nest of feeling here.]
It...threw me for a loop. I don't look anything like my dad. [His dad's photo was on shelf in the room. Just like Carlos, he looked like Chris Evan's long lost brother] Sometimes? I'd hear people wonder if I even was my dad's kid. So seeing a guy with red hair, acting like my dad... I- ...I wanted to meet him, though that made me feel guilty too because I love my dad in this life.
[He sighs and shakes his head]
Not that it matters. A week after I found out about him? Retrospec told us about the worlds being destroyed, and how we're all salvaged souls... [He swallows] ...So I've lost two dads.
[His hand wipes at his eye as he's clearly trying to blink something back. So, one memory down and this is going great. ]
but— this is going great. they were supposed to expect this and what was obviously supposed to come with it, so if they’re here now and still talking without losing too much footing, it’s a good a start as any. eren’s smile quietens, sees the sadness with that and allows a pause for elliot to regain composure. he knows— but that’s what they’re here for. to get the things that eat at them out in the open.
his hand does go to his arm, though, giving a reassuring squeeze. ]
You don’t know that. [ because sure, the world’s were destroyed and some souls lost, but. ] He could be in California right now. He could be here and you’ve just never noticed. Recollé’s huge.
[ eren prefered being realistic— there were two sides of the coin that needed seeing. ]
Whatever Wendy said doesn’t mean everything’s lost for good. You heard him, he’s still waiting on people.
[ he shrugs as he goes for another piece of meat, stick two slices of chicken in for them. ]
If he’s waiting, it’s because he’s shitty with words and there’s still a chance. Whether this guy isn’t your dad or is. You decide that.
[Elliot takes the time to compose himself. He really doesn't want to start sobbing when he's only on the first memory. But Eren's right that it has been eating at him. There'd just been so much going on when he got the memory in October, that he internalized it along with all his feelings. Not exactly the healthiest of coping mechanisms.
He sniffs as he listens to Eren's words. Yeah, maybe he is just Somewhere Else. Elliot had just reached the other conclusion because well, his anxious mind tended to jump to bad conclusions.]
Y-Yeah, you might be right....there are 7 billion people in this world, not like I've seen everyone. He could be...
[Out there, somewhere. Whether or not he's his dad....that was a hard one. There were a lot of feelings to unpack there, ones that Elliot wasn't ready to do just yet.]
I-I'd want to meet him, before I decide that. [He gives one final sniff, but looks like he's pulled himself together] Sorry...I made all these plans and precautions so I wouldn't get like this, and I still managed to mess it up.
[Though let's face it, if it wasn't for the precautions? The activity, the location, the third person talk - he'd probably would've been a blubbery mess before he went got the memory out]
[ eren shakes his head, mostly at the apology and makes sure he’s facing elliot 100% to see him and his expression: completely nonjudgemental and understanding, hand to his leg. ]
You can’t put a cork in what you feel, Elliot. I’m not going to, either. [ tecnically, he could, but that’d lead to something tremendously explosive down the line sooner or later. you can’t really control what your heart feels, either. you just feel— and eren wasn’t about to cut that off, he had every right to feel. ] That’s why we’re doing this in the first place. It messes with our heads— more than we think, sometimes. [ there’s really no use in denying that these memories had a larger impact on them than they would’ve wanted. some people show the impact on the spot, others hide it away until it’s too big to fight off alone. ]
I-I wasn't trying to cork it. Just...control it? [That's a better term, right!! He knew he couldn't stop what he felt, but he didn't want it to control him either.
But Eren was right. It did mess with their heads more than Elliot liked to admit. With Eren, the effects were more obvious. With Elliot, it was subtle- or at least he tried to make it as subtle as possible. He didn't want people to worry about him, or see him as a burden.
So he finally sighs and puts his own hand on Eren's. ]
...You're right. I'll...I'll try not to apologize for feelings things.
[Even if he really wants to. Still, he takes a breath and tries to continue on]
A-Anyway...I think it's your turn? What's Junior up to?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
3/7
But he hasn't forgotten about that one agreement they made. The one to talk about their memories. It'd be easier to put it off for longer but...no. They needed to do this. Or at least, take the first steps]
Are you free tonight?
I don't have classes tomorrow morning, so it'd be a good night to talk about memories if you're ready.
no subject
behold! eren had just finished a few things that were on his mind. and bank account. things were starting to fall into routine again, at least eren was trying to grasp at his obligations and get back to work, catch up on material and training, all that— and of course, superficially plan a few things with elliot for the month that he said he’d do, as well as things he hadn’t mentioned yet. elliot beat him to the punch and he’s . . . actually happy that he did. it was a sign that he wanted to do it, too. ]
just in time. and i’m ready when you are.
you’ll stay over right?
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Yeah, I will.
Actually, I was thinking we start the evening at my house.
We can hang out in my room and we can make hotpot together as we talk.
It's good and fun, and it means we don't accidentally ruin one of our favorite foods if the talks are rough.
And then after that to unwind, we can go for a ride.
Then we can go back to your place, and...unwind some more, I guess?
How's that sound?
I don't want to throw any surprises since I feel the talk is gonna be surprising enough for both of us.
[SO HE THOUGHT IT ALL THROUGH AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE]
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sounds even better now
[ elliot will see why hehe ]
want me to bring anything that isn’t dessert?
already got that covered
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[Aww yiisss he liked the plan]
Maybe some drinks that'll go well with spice?
Non-alcoholic, of course.
Oh, and do you like spicy food?
I can make a non-spicy broth too, but I want some spice.
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and i dunno how i didn’t tell you but i love spicy
once in a while
[ maybe that’s why ]
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Haha, maybe you did and I forgot.
Spicy for both of us it is!
So how about you come around 6?
And just let yourself in. I'll be in my room.
You should have a copy of my key.
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see you then elliot
[ once it’s six, eren should be there, already walking in and up the stairs, saying hi to anyone around if they were there— odd, eren didn’t make a sound when he got here. no motorcycle roar, no engine rumbling. just silence.
because he’s got something super fancy parked a block and corner away and came walking. he doesn’t want to spoil the surprise so soon. memory theater first. so creaking the door open, eren peeks inside with a bag of things in one hand and two fancy glasses held in the other. psst he goes. ]
no subject
Basically? It's a bit like a fondue pot, but for meat. 👌
Elliot's sitting at the table, sitting more to the side as if to make room for Eren to sit next to him. He had been listening for the motorcycle, so when Eren says psst? He looks up in surprise]
Eren! [The surprise turns into a genuine warm smile] Hehe, wow. I didn't hear you at all!
no subject
Decided to take a walk instead.
[ but eren you’re not sweating bullets . . . anyway!! flipping the cups onto the table, eren slides over and fits a well planted, happy kiss to elliot’s lips. pulling back and smiling, eren still looks in awe across their table. his mouth waters. ]
Look at all of this . . .
no subject
He smiles as he returns the kiss, before patting the floor next to him for Eren to sit down next to him.]
You like it? This is Hot Pot! Basically you take what ingredients you want to eat, and cook it in the broth here at the table.
Yusuke and Akira did it with me once. It's a good meal to talk with.
no subject
It’s the best idea I’ve seen, look at the meat. Japanese?
[ his expression remains bright, fishing through his plastic bag for The Stuff. two packs of mega stuffed oreos, first, because yes, then the mocktails, lined up one by one in front of them: vida loca magarita, cranberry fizz, the karma sucra cosmopolitan and scottish lemonade whiskey sour. they could just choose the one they wanted and eren would prep it in the little kit that came with the bottles. ]
no subject
[He googled this stuff!! He makes an impressed sound at the mocktails that he pulls out. Elliot doesn't actually know the difference between them, so he just picks the one with the name he likes the most - aka the Vida Loca Magarita] This one!
[And now that Eren's here? He's gonna go ahead and drop a couple slices of beef and tomatoes into the pot for himself to show him how it's done. Cook my pretties]
no subject
That enough for a story each?
[ he says as he shakes the drinks— it doesn’t look like it takes too long to cook, but even if it did, it’s quick to eat. eren pops an extra two pieces of lamb in there with some satisfaction. ]
no subject
I think so. [He gives a little nod] Also, I was thinking when we share stories...to help keep from getting muddled, let's talk about them in the third person. We can even give our other selves different names too. Like..."Chad", or something.
no subject
Alright, [ he says with raised brows, pouring their drinks into fancy cups and needing to briefly read the instructions. it says to rub the glass rims with salt, get some lemon slices in there, so doing that (because let’s just say they have everything): ] . . . Junior.
[ serving their finished drinks, eren adds: ]
The name Dad wanted to give me, Grisha Jr. Mom wanted me to have my own name.
[ another reason why he fucking loves his mom so much and dad loses more points. ]
no subject
[He makes a face at that and laughs. He can't picture Eren as a Junior or a Grisha at all. Eren was Eren. So, the name was perfect. He knows they both know it was them in another life, but he figures it'll make things easier to share if they act like there's some distance. Like a whole "asking for a friend" trick.
He'll take a sip of his drink. Oh this is good.]
Junior's perfect. And mine will be... Elton. There were jerks in high school that'd call me that sometimes. [You know, because gay musician like Elton John. No one ever said bullies were creative.
But with the names established...there was no more way to prolong it. Since this was all Elliot's idea? He takes a bit of a deep breathe and start it off]
Speaking of dads...m- [correcting himself] Elton's dad is still alive.
no subject
He is? Mom too?
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I dunno about Mom- his mom. [Yeah, let's not get the wires crossed there] I just saw his dad.
He's not like mine. I mean, he was still in the military. Some type of General- higher than my dad got. [He only made it to Colonel when he passed] But it was a different guy? He was this huge guy with red hair. He was standing on a tank. I think the base we were at was under attack, and he was in command. [...] He was...really cool? Larger than life, I guess. [badass] Elton even admitted he was, which I think was high praise.
[He can't help but feel a little jealous about that. He thought his own dad was cool, no question of that. But he knows he never got to reach the father-son stage that Elton and his dad had. He never got to be embarrassed by his dad, or have times where he thought him uncool. He had with Carlos but...it wasn't the same.]
no subject
but back to what mattered, eren listens completely as elliot describes him, finding himself smiling as he pokes around at the meat they left but hardly taking his eyes off of elliot much. having the time of his life with chopsticks (aka, the battle of the year), eren, after much struggle, ends up using the two sticks under both sides of a piece, like a spatula, and setting it on elliot’s plate before going after his own.
do not laugh, but marvel at his hashi coordination skills. ]
He sounds like a beast. [ honestly, it was the kind of father he’s always wanted to have. it wasn’t fair to say he lucked out, at least he still had a father. he knows what it’s like to be without one, too. with curiosity as he slips a piece of meat into his mouth (and hums in delight! what delicious broth), he asks: ] What’d it feel like?
no subject
Elliot watches Eren struggle with the chopsticks. He could help him out, but nah, this is something Eren needs to do for himself. He can teach him proper chopstick use later and impress him. For now, he won't laugh though, but there is a small smile on his face.
When Eren sets the piece of meat on his plate, he'll pick it up adeptly with his own chopsticks and eat it. That is good. Chewing gives him time to think of how to answer, because lord, did Eren step into a hornet nest of feeling here.]
It...threw me for a loop. I don't look anything like my dad. [His dad's photo was on shelf in the room. Just like Carlos, he looked like Chris Evan's long lost brother] Sometimes? I'd hear people wonder if I even was my dad's kid. So seeing a guy with red hair, acting like my dad... I- ...I wanted to meet him, though that made me feel guilty too because I love my dad in this life.
[He sighs and shakes his head]
Not that it matters. A week after I found out about him? Retrospec told us about the worlds being destroyed, and how we're all salvaged souls... [He swallows] ...So I've lost two dads.
[His hand wipes at his eye as he's clearly trying to blink something back. So, one memory down and this is going great. ]
no subject
but— this is going great. they were supposed to expect this and what was obviously supposed to come with it, so if they’re here now and still talking without losing too much footing, it’s a good a start as any. eren’s smile quietens, sees the sadness with that and allows a pause for elliot to regain composure. he knows— but that’s what they’re here for. to get the things that eat at them out in the open.
his hand does go to his arm, though, giving a reassuring squeeze. ]
You don’t know that. [ because sure, the world’s were destroyed and some souls lost, but. ] He could be in California right now. He could be here and you’ve just never noticed. Recollé’s huge.
[ eren prefered being realistic— there were two sides of the coin that needed seeing. ]
Whatever Wendy said doesn’t mean everything’s lost for good. You heard him, he’s still waiting on people.
[ he shrugs as he goes for another piece of meat, stick two slices of chicken in for them. ]
If he’s waiting, it’s because he’s shitty with words and there’s still a chance. Whether this guy isn’t your dad or is. You decide that.
no subject
He sniffs as he listens to Eren's words. Yeah, maybe he is just Somewhere Else. Elliot had just reached the other conclusion because well, his anxious mind tended to jump to bad conclusions.]
Y-Yeah, you might be right....there are 7 billion people in this world, not like I've seen everyone. He could be...
[Out there, somewhere. Whether or not he's his dad....that was a hard one. There were a lot of feelings to unpack there, ones that Elliot wasn't ready to do just yet.]
I-I'd want to meet him, before I decide that. [He gives one final sniff, but looks like he's pulled himself together] Sorry...I made all these plans and precautions so I wouldn't get like this, and I still managed to mess it up.
[Though let's face it, if it wasn't for the precautions? The activity, the location, the third person talk - he'd probably would've been a blubbery mess before he went got the memory out]
no subject
You can’t put a cork in what you feel, Elliot. I’m not going to, either. [ tecnically, he could, but that’d lead to something tremendously explosive down the line sooner or later. you can’t really control what your heart feels, either. you just feel— and eren wasn’t about to cut that off, he had every right to feel. ] That’s why we’re doing this in the first place. It messes with our heads— more than we think, sometimes. [ there’s really no use in denying that these memories had a larger impact on them than they would’ve wanted. some people show the impact on the spot, others hide it away until it’s too big to fight off alone. ]
no subject
But Eren was right. It did mess with their heads more than Elliot liked to admit. With Eren, the effects were more obvious. With Elliot, it was subtle- or at least he tried to make it as subtle as possible. He didn't want people to worry about him, or see him as a burden.
So he finally sighs and puts his own hand on Eren's. ]
...You're right. I'll...I'll try not to apologize for feelings things.
[Even if he really wants to. Still, he takes a breath and tries to continue on]
A-Anyway...I think it's your turn? What's Junior up to?
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